Defending Jacob: The Aftermath Book 1

Personal Hell

It was Laurie's first night back at home, she had fallen asleep the meds she needed to take, they tired her. I laid there in our bed, it was the first time I had been in that bed since the day of the accident happened. As i closed my eyes, all I could see was Jacob in the hospital, breathing machine keeping him alive, tubes connected to my son everywhere. I tossed and turned, all I could hear in my personal hell was Logiudice's words haunting me.

"Andy you said you want the truth to come out, Help us get justice for Jacob." He said in my nightmare.

I woke sitting up, Laurie still sleeping soundly and didn't notice I awoke, I looked at her wondering for the first time, was it an accident. No she didn't do it on purpose, it was an accident, I kept thinking in my head. She was in a bad place mentally, with the last year. She was distraught and stressed emotionally from the trail. Learning Leonard Patz was killed was her undoing, but I know she loved me and Jacob. She would never hurt either of us.

I went downstairs as I couldn't sleep, I grabbed a beer downing trying to suppress my thoughts.

Andy heard Laurie yelling screaming in her sleep.

"I love you and your father, I can't take this anymore." Laurie screamed in her sleep.

I rushed upstairs Laurie was tossing and turning, she was crying in her sleep, "I'm sorry Jacob I don't believe you." She said in her sleep.

She was trapped in her nightmare, I gently shook her and eventually she woke looking at me. She said. "Andy, what happened? Why did you wake me up I was having such a nice dream, we where all in Mexico happy."

I let out my breathing, I was terrified Laurie would remember her nightmare, I had woke her from. I held her while she drifted back to sleep. I didn't sleep that night. Once Laurie was sleeping peacefully again I needed to figure out how to keep her memories from coming back ever. She had forgotten Leonard Patz being killed. I needed to keep it that way. I went on my Iphone researching the therapist that was recommended. I would call in the morning to book an appointment with her myself. I found websites with tips how to make someone never remember their forgotten memories. The court voted no bill, and I knew in my heart it was an accident, I just couldn't answer one question still, why was Jacob's baby book in the garbage. Laurie loved our son and she loved looking at his baby pictures always. I chalked that entire thing up to she was distraught back than after finding out Patz death wasn't a suicide. It was a confession, I needed to make the past stay that way.

Billy's words would haunted me, "you can be a good man or you can be a good father." I was a good father, a good husband, a good man. I would protect my family, we would move and get past this, be the happy family we once where. That was until Ben was murdered. I still wonder who killed Ben. That thought haunted me, I say Patz, but the lawyer in me was screaming no. I knew it wasn't Jacob or Patz. So who did this. Jacob was a car accident he didn't need justice. Ben and his parents deserved justice still. I needed to find out for myself.

I lied there in my thoughts for hours, suddenly the sun to peaking through the window blinds. It was morning and time to get up. I went and had a shower letting Laurie rest more. When I got out of shower, Laurie was sitting in bed upright.

She looked to me saying, "What time is it, when can we go see Jacob?"

"Laurie it's 8:30am, we have to wait till 10am to leave for the hospital." I told her. "Visiting hours in the ICU start at 10:30am, we will be there first thing ok." I reassured her.

"Ok Andy, I had a dream we where happy, we where in Mexico and next thing I knew Jacob was bleeding in the hospital." she cried.

"Hey, hey it's hard I know, but it was an accident, you just lost control of the car with the rain. I shouldn't have been calling to say you where late, I distracted you it's my fault." I said while holding her rubbing her back.

She said "I dreamt Jacob woke up today, he smiled at us, asking what happened. I love you mom and dad."

I told her "it will happen Jacob is getting stronger everyday and he will be with us at home again soon."

She went in the shower, I helped her wash up and get dressed as she still sore and healing. We went downstairs and ate breakfast together. She smiled and wanted to clean the dishes, saying she wanted our normal life back. When she opened the garbage, she notice 2 beer bottles they weren't there after dinner. She looked at me puzzled I said had those last night after you fell asleep, just relaxing that's all. I called the therapist's office and made an appointment in 2 weeks for myself. I made one for Laurie the week after mine.

It was almost 10am when the doctors called saying we should head to the hospital right away something with Jacob had changed.

We got in the car and drove, I took it easy knowing Laurie was nervous in cars now after the accident. When parked and got into the ICU coma area, Jacob's doctor met us there, outside of his room.

Dr. Steven's he was an old grey stalky man. "Andy, Laurie we had a goodnight and now the morning with Jacob, he woke up a few times but would go back to sleep." He told us.

"Andy my dream, he was trying to reach me. I need to see my son." Laurie said.

We went into his room the breathing tube was still there, the doctor let us know it was so Jacob could heal better as he go in and out of consciousness.

I grabbed Jacob's right hand "Hey buddy, it's dad I'm hear with you again, can you opened your eyes, come on buddy, don't make me do it with the AC/DC music again." I told him. Nothing Jacob stayed sleeping.

Laurie grabbing his left hand saying "Jake honey it's mom, I'm here it's ok I love you, can you open your eyes for me." she asked him.

Jacob's eye shot open like a deer in headlights, as soon as Laurie spoke to him. He tried to pull his hand away from her. He started to shake his head back and forth. He wanted to speak to but with the tubes he couldn't, he looked at his mother. Jacob was stressing, he ended up closing eyes back into sleep. My heart and mind filled with fear did Jacob remember the accident. Would I have assure him his mother would never hurt him. My voice in my head said "Welcome Andy to your own personal hell."