He wasn't

Chapter 19

He Wasn't: Chapter Nineteen

The rain had stopped as soon as we got to dad's house. Nate walked me until we reached the porch, then we stopped and turned to face each other. I looked up and saw the sky was now clear. The moon shone down on us as the stars twinkled and sparkled almost like diamonds in the dark rendered blue sky. There was freshness that can be savored in the air. The cold breeze made me comfortable as I stand in front of the man I love.

Nate took my hand and squeezed it tight. "So I'll see you around?"

I nodded, as I smiled and felt the warmth of his hand. But truth is, I still don't want him to leave even if I knew I can see him tomorrow or the next day. That's the hardest thing about being in love with someone; whenever they leave, it feels like they're taking a part of you and you'll only feel complete again as soon as you see them and feel the warmth of their love embracing your soul.

"Hey," he said. "Look at me,"

I turned my eyes on him and saw him smiling at me. He then leaned in and kissed my forehead. His lips were soft and tender and I felt the sincerity in it. Then he came closer and hugged me. I rested my head on his chest as I feel his embrace had tightened. His arms were big, and to me, nothing was more safer in the world than in his arms.

"It's so hard to say goodbye," I murmured as I burry my face in his chest. "I don't want you to leave... Not yet, not now,"

"I'll never leave. As long as you tell me not to,"

"But,"

"Hmmn?"

"Is it really alright?"

"Of course," he said. "I'd rather be here with you than anywhere else,"

I let out a giggle at the words that left his mouth. To me, what happened today was like a dream, and if it really was, I wish to never wake up. I wish to stay with him forever. But then, I don't want to be selfish. It was late and I knew he was tired, and I knew I was tired.

I sighed and freed myself from his embrace. "I know I said I don't want you to go yet but it's late and you should rest now,"

"I'm still not tired," he said as he pulled me again to himself.

"Nora might need you,"

"Yeah I guess,"

"See? You should go,"

He paused for a minute then glanced at his watch then looked at his car then back to me. He scratched his head. He seemed unsure of what he was about to say, but I could see a determined look on his face for whatever he was about to say next.

"Ten more minutes," he bargained.

"No!" I laughed then I took his hand and led him back to his car. I glanced over my shoulder and saw him frowned as we walked down the pathway.

When we reached his car, he tucked his hands inside his jeans' pocket and heaved a heavy sigh. Then he stared at me for a minute. I leaned on his car and returned the stare he had at me.

"Well? Get in," I said.

He kept quiet, still not moving as he continued to stare at me like a statue. It scared me for a moment. It always scares me when he's quiet. I wanted to know what he was thinking during these times. And looking at his face right now, he seemed like he was coming up with a thought that he could never share with me. One that seemed like he thought of a long time ago.

"I don't want to," he finally spoke.

"Why...?"

"I was thinking the whole time that you might disappear again if I got in and drove all the way home." he said. "Ever since you left, even if it was just a couple of days, it was never the same for me. When you came into my life I knew then that my life got infinitely better for having you in it. Which is why I couldn't find the right words to say everytime we were together. I got scared of what you might think if I told you, you were the best thing that's ever happened to me and that I have loved you since the day that I first saw you here. You might think it might be too sudden to decide that its love that I am feeling but that's what my heart is telling me and that's what I'm feeling. Have you ever felt that when you're with someone, you feel like you can do anything and like anything's possible and everything's real?"

I was about to open my mouth but Nate didn't wait for my answer.

"Exactly. And I regret that I didn't tell you right away my true intentions and feelings and that it drove you away. So I'm sorry,"

I got closer and embraced him. He rested his chin on my head and ran his fingers through my hair.

"This scent," I began. "I've missed. And everywhere I've been to and people I've met while I was away, made me long for you. Everything around me made me miss you. I didn't know what I was feeling then, everything started to fall apart and I didn't know what was right anymore. But when I started to think of you, I knew you were the only thing that was certain to me."

The summer wind blew gently at us, and in the distance, the branches and grasses bent gently as the wind blew more harder. Leaves rustled nearby, brushing past our shoes. Nate turned my head upwards at him then he leaned in and kissed me. Somehow  it made me wished that I was the only girl that he kissed in his entire life because he was the only one I have ever kissed in mine.

We ended up talking inside his car. We talked some more until it was twelve midnight. Then we both agreed that we should head home now. Nate started the car engine and I got out. He lowered the car window and I leveled to him and then we kissed one last time.

I walked by myself this time and made it to dad's house. Before completely walking inside, I looked up to the moon and stars and realized, whenever we were together, that's the time they would shine the brightest. And I knew this time, I needed him more than ever.