He wasn't

Chapter 11

He Wasn't: Chapter Eleven

I know it wasn't any of my business. But all I could think as I walk back to my car was, what the hell Nate.

Why did he let me think he has feelings for me or there was a special connection between us?

I got to my car and stepped on the gas. I passed a sign that says 30km/h. Which means I should be driving in that speed level but I was driving about 70km/h and if any police saw me I would definitely get in trouble. But I don't care. My mind was so unfocused and I could only feel that I was betrayed. I pulled at our driveway and headed for my room. I walked passed dad and I think I heard him say he made dinner.

Finally, I reached for my bed. I threw myself and found myself sobbing. I was stopping myself from crying simply because he doesn't deserve my tears and... This is stupid. I sat up and exhaled. From where I was sitting, I could see my painting peeking out. I got up and took it.

"I did this because I was inspired," I murmured to myself. I let my hands roam the painting, feeling the texture, the color, and the details. But my phone rang, breaking my moment.

I rummaged my bag, searching for my phone. At last I got hold of it, not bothering to look at the front screen of my pink Motorola RAZR flip phone.

"Hello?"

"Hey, you left and I was just worried," Nate said. My heart was pounding.

"Oh, sorry about that,"

"Where are you?"

"I'm at home, dad called me and needed me on something."

"Really? Ok," he said. "I'm sorry if I didn't join you earlier. I was... explaining something to Hannah."

"Oh yeah, that."

"What?" he sounded surprised.

"Uhh, because I saw you talking to her earlier,"

I heard him chuckle. "Ok, I'll see you soon?"

"Yeah," I sighed and closed my phone.

______________

45 minutes had passed and I'm still staring into space. I thought about a lot of things like there was really no reason to hate Nate, it was my own insecurities that drove me to hate him. Like I've realized that I was always craving for his attention like earlier when we were at the lake, I expected him to only talk to me, but I don't have the right to tell him who he has to talk to. I've realized that I was being possessive of someone that doesn't belong to me.

And further more, I have to stop thinking about Nate because as what I clearly heard a while ago, he doesn't like me. I was right all along. He was just kind and considerate. I know that expecting too much hurts. I've never cried because of a guy and I'm not gonna cry because of Nate.

I got up and dragged myself to the kitchen and rummaged the fridge for chocolate pudding and found none. I grumbled, eating chocolate is always good when you're depressed.

"Hey dad, do we still have chocolate pudding?"

"I think I just ate the last one,"

"Oh..."

"Wait, what?!" a dim bulb lights up on my head. "Noooo..." I cried.

Dad found it amusing. "What's with the gloomy aura, Sof?"

"It's nothing. I just feel like eating chocolate pudding,"

"The grocery store has chocolate pudding," dad suggested.