The Most Fucked Up and Popular Kids in Preschool

Day 5: Wedding Crashing

*One day...*

* * * * *

The Bride: *Crying* MY WEDDING IS RUINED!!!

Volley: Dammit Pearl gimme back my contraban!

Pearl: N O

* *
Steven: Ruby and Sapphire, I now pronounce you man and wife.

Peridot: *claps* It brings me to tears it's just so goddamn BEAUTIFUL!
**
Spinny: Sissy! Sissy where are you?!

Lapis: Spinny you just missed the most gaysbian wedding I've ever been to.

Spinny: Lapis have you seen sissy?

Bismuth: Isn't that her over there?

Spinny: *gasps* SISSY NO!

**

**In the present**

Peridot: Ok. *clears throat* You may be wondering what the hell happened. Well, it is a very complex story that is full of romance, heartbreak, and most of all, lesbianism. So...I suggest you get some Fritos, along with some Peanut Butter cups, and wash it down with a Capri-Sun while I tell this-

Spinny: Oh! And don't forget the mapley syrups!

Aquamarine: SHUT UP ABOUT THE MAPLE SYRUP ALREADY!

*Punch!*

Aquamarine: Ow, bitch!

Spinel: The only one allowed to talk to my sister like that is ME! GOT IT!?

Peridot: Can you guys save it!? I'm telling the readers about the story of the wedding.

Jasper: Oh please.

Connie: I'll get the popcorn.

Peridot: Anyways, it all started when White didn't show up to the daycare...

**

Blue Diamond: *sighs* Well, I guess she isn't turning up today. So that also means no geometry test today.

Everyone (sans Pearl): YES!

Pearl: *depression*

Spinel: So does that mean we can go home?

Luni: Yeah because I think I swallowed my paint-

Blue: Well ya know what Luni? That's your own damn problem. And No, you're here to lEaRn and get eDuCaTeD so no one's going home!

Volley: I thought we were here because our parents didn't want us so you have to deal with us.

Steven: That is so true.

Jasper: *crosses arms* And because there's nothing to do at home.

Volley: Besides, we all know you wana leave and get high on your weed, Blue.

Blue: *lying* What are you talking about? I don't-

Volley: Your stash is at home in your garage and there's more in your tire.

Blue: ....

Blue: I need to go...check my tires- BUT DON'T GO ANYWHERE!

Steven: Ok we won't!

*She Sonic dashes out the door*

Steven: Ok so what's the plan guys?

Pearl: Why can't we stay here and be dignified for once?