When My World Falls-JAEYONG

16 | temporary happiness

Jaehyun felt dead when he was in the therapy. He was just really lazy because he doesn't want any of this, but it's his fault why his aunt put him in here. Looking at his schedule that was pasted on the wall at their apartment just makes him feel sick. Being in these types of buildings, especially in hospitals, make him feel so sick. He wants to run away from it. He wasn't obviously doing it for himself, he does it for his aunt.

He already gave up on himself.

What could have been done if he didn't live in a fucked up past? What if his mother didn't really hate him and planned to kill him? What if he didn't really feel so much pain? Why him in the first place?

Jaehyun had some self-destructive thoughts from his younger years, it's the reason why his aunt decided to put him into therapies and consultations. At some point, it helped him but realizing that nothing's getting better just made him give up. He hated himself.

For some reason, the thought of Taeyong willingly wanting to help him came into mind.

"Thank you, Jaehyun. I'll see you next week, okay? Same time and day," the therapist said politely.

The man nodded before he exited the room. Seeing the unfamiliar place he is in makes him feel very suffocated. His mind started fuzzing up, overthinking. Jaehyun didn't waste time and just ran out of the building. It wasn't good for him. There was a big possibility he'll end up in the hospital again if he fell unconscious, no heartbeat.

Jaehyun tried breathing steadily, not wanting to lose himself. Although he was running, it felt so long before he reached the doors where he entered a few hours ago. The man looked ahead and was surprised to see the familiar smile of a boy.

It was still weird how his smile made Jaehyun feel relieved.

"Hey, how was it?"

Taeyong is the only person who makes him feel this way, and he, himself, doesn't even know why.

"I don't know," Jaehyun replied.

The boy furrowed his eyebrows, "Eh? Wait, why are you panting? Are you good? Are you alright?"

The man nodded, "I...I'm good."

"Okay. Let's go? I'll drive you home, maybe you just got anxious or something," Taeyong said.

Both of them went towards and stepped into the car. Jaehyun sighed while Taeyong started the engine and drove away. The boy kept checking if the man was fine, physically. He gives a few glances if Jaehyun was still panting. Maybe the man just got really anxious. Well, he seems fine now.

They stopped upon traffic. Taeyong looked at the time on his phone and thought he still have time to arrive at work. He just had to fetch Jaehyun just for extra measures, and by measures, he meant happiness and more time to be with him. Also, he wanted to give the thing he bought a while ago.

He remembered about it and reached for his bag that was on the backseat while they were still in traffic. He opened it and grabbed the paper bag inside, with his other things. Taeyong hummed before he handed it over to Jaehyun who looked confused.

"I was...looking at the internet if I could give you something to help you, and I found out that journaling is a good way to properly manage your emotions and overall, your state."

Jaehyun accepted and took it from Taeyong. He opened the paper bag and grabbed the thin journal book inside. He pulled it out and Taeyong was actually watching him. The boy was trying to read his thoughts and emotions. Honestly, he was nervous about Jaehyun's reaction but so far, he wasn't seeing the man having a bad expression to it.

The man wanted to tell him that no one has ever done something like this to him, other than his aunt. Even if it'll be temporary, he feels happy.

"...thank you."

Taeyong smiled very sweetly at him and nodded, a little blush across his cheeks.

"You're welcome. It's hard to tell your feelings honestly so write them instead," the boy uttered.

When the cars started moving, Taeyong had to take his attentions away from Jaehyun and starts driving. He doesn't know that the man got the chance to look at the boy. Something in Taeyong just makes him feel good. Did he already think about that? If he did, that's something very serious.

This is not normal. This isn't even him to begin with. He never gave someone a stare this long.

It took some minutes before they arrived. Jaehyun needed to slap himself mentally to realize it. He should snap out of it. But just before he goes out of the car, he stopped when Taeyong spoke.

"I'll see you...?"

"Thursday."

Taeyong nodded, despite being a little upset, "Okay. Message me if you need anything or if there's any emergencies."

"I'll try."

Jaehyun stepped out of the car and closed the door before he walked along the sidewalk. Taeyong stayed for a bit, making sure the guy would be fine then he remembered something from the internet. He slapped his hand against his forehead.

"Don't overdo it, Taeyong. Don't overdo everything," he told himself before he sighed.

Suddenly, the thought of confessing passed his mind.