When My World Falls-JAEYONG

18 | felt like home

Jaehyun stayed in his room, currently too anxious to go out and do something. He's doing breathing exercises to calm down alone. He was trying to do things more independently now. He doesn't want to add more work for his aunt than she has to do. All he gives were burdens and more burdens.

He was doing his exercises, looking by the window he has in his room to distract himself but his eyes went to the paper bag that was on his bedside table, beside his medications.

Oh, the journal.

Jaehyun remembered Taeyong telling him to write, instead of telling. He hasn't really tried writing his feelings down.

He reached out for it and took the notebook out. It has a simple black cover with subtle galaxy themed designs, then has light beige-colored pages inside. He doesn't have any knowledge about doing these. He doesn't know what to write or what to do with it. He sighed and clicked his tongue.

Catching his attention, he heard someone knocking on his door. Jaehyun just waited for his aunt to come in, except it wasn't his aunt who showed up. Somehow, he felt glad to see him again.

"Hey," Taeyong greeted with a brief small smile.

"Hi..." Jaehyun greeted back.

"Can I come in?" the boy asked, "I mean...I already am, but y'know, if I can come into your room?"

The man shrugged, "Yeah."

Taeyong comes in and his eyes went to the Jaehyun holding on the journal. He took a seat on the study chair, hugging his bag against his body and feet subtly swinging.

"Have you written anything?" the boy asked.

Jaehyun shook his head, "I don't know what to write."

"Write anything. It's yours and no one will read that, Jaehyun," Taeyong uttered, "It's not just for writing, really. Do anything with it."

The man nodded, and lets the quiet atmosphere take over but not a long time.

"You're so strong, do you know that, Jaehyun?"

Mixed emotions, Jaehyun felt that. He looked back at the boy after he heard those words. The man never had the self-esteem to consider himself strong. He felt so weak under everything. He gets swallowed easily and a coward. He can't face his fears. He'd rather die than seeing his mother again.

"If you're trying to lift my mood, it's not working," Jaehyun said.

"I'm not sugarcoating things, Jae. You really are," Taeyong uttered.

"I'm barely living right now..."

The boy tilted his head to the side a little bit, "I don't know your past, but you can do everything just to make everything...more tolerable for yourself."

"You think I can pull through? I'm already too deep into my mess."

Taeyong sighed, not knowing what to do or say. He's practically trying to say things without practically nagging at him. They're not that close and he isn't even licensed to be around someone like Jaehyun. He doesn't know what words he should say. All he could do was to smile at him.

"Do you want to go out sometimes?" Taeyong asked.

Jaehyun furrowed his eyebrows, "Go out?"

The boy nodded, "You can't feel alive when you're secluded. I can take you somewhere."

"I have issues with unfamiliarity," the man uttered quietly.

"Atleast you're with me."

Taeyong couldn't really read him by expression but Jaehyun just slowly nodded.

"Depends on my mood..."

"I have one thing up on my sleeve to keep you happy in the morning," Taeyong said in a cheerful way as he rampaged in his bag, trying to find his colorful pens.

The boy stood, putting his bag on the chair and looked at the man who was looking confused.

"Can I step on your bed?" Taeyong asked.

Jaehyun moved aside, "What...are you going to do?"

Taeyong started taking his shoes off and stepped on the bed with socks. He was trying to reach the ceiling, with an orange pen in hand. Jaehyun was just watching him with furrowed eyebrows, not knowing what's he's doing, but the boy was writing something. After a few minutes, Taeyong looked really happy about the simply words he placed.

"Let's not show this to the landlord but everytime you wake up, you're gonna read these."

'Smile for me -TY'

Jaehyun read that decorated with flowers. Taeyong then sat and went to draw against the wall, with the man watching. Not watching to draw, just Jaehyun looking at a happy Taeyong, like a kid.

"I did this to my room. If you're going to come and see it, you'd probably think I'm an artist...or a lunatic, not a veterinary student. That's what most my friends say to me. But drawing was some kind of my thing to relieve stress. Do you want to try it?"

The man got flustered when the boy looked back. He shied away but Taeyong didn't notice that. Jaehyun looked at the red pen that the boy was giving. He doesn't know why but he reached out and grabbed it before Taeyong went to draw tiny art. Jaehyun looked back at Taeyong. Somehow, he went to draw a tiny rose.

The scar Taeyong has beside his eye reminded him of a rose.

"You never told me you're good at drawing," the boy suddenly uttered which the man to flinch, only to receive a heart-fluttering genuine smile.

"You know what, I'll give you these pens. They're yours to keep, Jae. You have your whole blank canvas here," Taeyong added.

Jaehyun felt his heart beat, "T-Thank you..."

"You're having a nice progress, Jaehyun. Just so you know...And because of that, I'll write it right here," the boy commented after he heard the man to say, 'thank you.'

The man nodded.

'You're doing great!' with a thumbs up drawn beside the phrase and somehow, Taeyong managed to draw himself.

Taeyong laughed at his drawing then sighed, "The problem here is that I can't erase anything. I hope it looks like me."

Jaehyun didn't say anything, he just fell comfortably with how Taeyong was treating him. Suddenly, his sad room became noisy and lively because of the boy. It suddenly felt like home.