Disenchanted (Frerard + Petekey)

This Is How I Disappear

...there. No, not like that, it has to be sharper.
"Ugh." he froze, pencil in hand as he realized he'd accidentally verbalized his frustration with the page before him.

He scanned the room quickly from behind his long dark hair which obscured most of his face from view. The room was full of his classmates, most of whom were paying more attention to the lesson at hand than the weird kid at the back of the room.

Okay, he thought to himself, I think we're safe. Nobody noticed. Cool.

He nodded to himself and turned his attention back to the sketch he was working on in the margins of his biology notes. A striking figure, eyes downcast, most of the features obscured by the sunrise, sunset? in the distance.
He'd been practicing drawing hands lately, and it was paying off. A fact that was obvious from the distinct positioning of his characters fingers wrapped around the hilt of a knife, the subject of the 'sharper' comment which had distracted him to begin with.

The character clutched the knife tightly in the grip of their left hand, glittering in the dying rays of the sun, reflected back by the sea stretching out before them. Something was dripping from the knife.

As Gerard filled in the characters shadow stretching towards him a small smirk twitched at the corner of his mouth. Blood. Gallons of the stuff.

He couldn't help but grin as he scrawled the words at an angle across the lower half of the sketch. He was proud of this one, he'd been working on his art almost constantly and this piece, even though it was barely half the page and contained some gibberish about Punnett Squares at the top when his teacher had stared at him until he'd attempted some note taking, this piece held emotion. He could feel this one.

But feeling things was dangerous.

He snapped to attention when the bell rang. Slamming the book closed and shoving his things into his bag hastily, avoiding eye contact as he rushed to get out of this hellhole of a building.

Panic began to set in as he shuffled into the hallway, being lightly jostled by people as they rushed past.
What time is it? Fuck where am I going? Where's Ray?
He scanned the crowd. Ray should be at their usual meeting spot, or on his way to it. Ray knew Gerard was no good with directions and had memorized his friends schedule for occasions such as this.
Gerard inhaled sharply as he caught sight of the brown hair bobbing above the crowd. Good old Ray, always easy to spot in a crowd.

Just the sight of his friends bushy mop was enough to calm him slightly, and he made a beeline to the alcove above the drama stairs, the usual spot, clutching his bag to his chest and using his own long hair, unkempt the math teacher had called it, to shield his face.

"Hey!" Ray gave a half-wave, accidentally bumping someone else in the process, "You- oops sorry! Hey dude what's up? You ready to go?"

"Go?" Gerard replied. Surely it wasn't time to go home yet?

"Yeah man, smoke breeeeak." He laughed as he drug out the last word, leaning back as he did so.

"Oh. Yeah cool. Hey what do we have next anyway?" Gerard asked as they made their way to the smoking section.

Ray rolled his eyes at his friend, he was used to this. Without even a moment to think he replied "You've got Strings and I've got Phys Ed. Ugh. Wanna switch?" He joked, raising his eyebrows playfully.
Gerard punched him in the arm as the two strode across the parking lot, passing him a lighter in the process. "You wish man."

Once Ray had lit his cigarette he passed Gerard back his lighter, becoming immediately distracted by another friend he'd spotted. "Oi Bob! How's it hangin'?" Ray called out to his buddy who was standing a ways off, giving Gerard a quick nod to confirm he wouldn't be long as he strode off to chat with Bob, leaving Gerard alone with his thoughts.

He'd known Ray since middle school. One of the few people he knew now who might remember him before his mind imploded.

Gerard leaned against the recycling dumpster as he gazed toward his friend, lost in time.

He was so short when I met him... just a little short 'fro too. Hah.

He snorted and flicked the ashes off the end of his cigarette.

Now look at him, fuckin' 6 feet tall, almost 7 with the hair. Shame he hangs around with a loser like me, he'd have a girlfriend no problem.

It was true, Ray had dated sporadically, and the girls did swoon over him for his height, and his guitar skills, but he never seemed interested in them.
Gerard had asked him about it once, he'd just shrugged and claimed he was too focused on his music to bother with any emotional baggage.
You've got me for that. Gerard had thought in the moment.

He still felt that way of course, but if he ever mentioned it, Ray would just deny it. He was a good friend like that. Never pressured him to talk about things, allowed the friendship to exist on the surface, never deeper.

He dropped his gaze to his feet, aimlessly digging the toe of his shoe into the gravel of the flattened area behind the dumpster the school had so graciously deemed the smoking section.

God I dunno what I'd do if he ever did decide to drop me though. He's the best fucking thing I've got going for me honestly.

Closing his eyes he inhaled the last dregs of his smoke, holding it in to give the nicotine more time to absorb into his bloodstream.
This resulted in a coughing fit as Ray came jogging back over from his chat with Bob.

"Don't cough up a lung now." Ray joked, giving Gerard a smack on the back and nodding toward the building, "C'mon dude, I can't be late again this week, my mom'll take the car away."