Hamesha and Forever - Sidnaaz

Chapter 5

Sidnaaz

"Vo kyon ker raha hai aise per" she asked Shehbaaz
"itna kyon soch ri haj motto! Mitti paa!" he nudged her
"No! Paghal samajh ke rakha hai? Bass ek dafa milne ko hi toh keh rahi hoon, phir haftey poore andar hona hai meine! and ab vo ni mil ra, it means usse nhi thi attachment na? Sab game ke liye tha!" She was so angry.
Was everything just a game for him? Was he not attached to her the way she was - this was more like a fear that lurked in her heart and mind, eating her up.
"Bakwaas! Weekend pe nikalna toh pooch Lena, mil lena"
"Ab nhi miloon gi! Mkeo abhi zaroorat hai na uss ki, usse koi farq ni parta toh theekay! Mujhe bhi nhi parey ga! jaise vo kar rha hai same mein karoon gi, dekh Lena" she grinded her teeth.
"Chal chor ab! Tu ne live jana tha na? Abhi jaa, show se pehle. Mein bahar jaa raha hoon." Shehbaaz said as he disappeared from the vanity.
She was all dressed up for the shoot of MSK that would begin in just a few hours. She hadn't talked with Sidharth after her last tiff with him on phone. Her parents were to fly to Punjab in an hour; her mother was in her vanity, taking a small nap while her father was nowhere to be seen.
To say she was nervous would be an understatement. She was a literal bundle of nerves. How would it go? She didn't know what the exact pattern of the show would be. Would the boys be nice?
Will anyone EVER come as close to her heart as Sidharth did? No way. She was beginning to realise the huge blunder she had done by signing the show - she wasn't mentally or emotionally available for such a commitment or interaction with anyone. How would she go through the show? Even the thought of dealing with all the flirtatious behaviors and attempts to woo her was tiring her....
But she had given the creatives her word and she would do anything to keep it. She would give this show and all the boys a chance. She would give this show her everything, just as she did in big boss, just as she did in all her projects.

How will she react? Will she be angry and not talk to him? Will she be thrilled to see him?
He couldn't help but focus on what the creatives were saying as these thoughts churned in his mind. He was bought back when he heard them talk about the boys that would be coming.
Oh man! He suddenly felt a pang of protectiveness for Shehnaaz. What if someone misbehaves? What if...
the thoughts trailed off.
NO! He scolded himself. Shehnaaz was a strong, independent woman and she didn't need him, or anyone else for that matter, to protect her. She could do that very well herself. It was stupid of him to think she'd need help. But that didn't stop him from feeling what he was feeling. How could it?

After the creatives left, Shehnaaz's father came to meet him and he couldnt help but feel a little nervous. Why? Well, there was no answer.
"Nhi uncle Jee, thankyou ki koi zaroorat nhi hai! No No" he replied with utmost humility and respect as Shehnaaz's father thanked him for taking good care of her.
Her father must have felt the same protectiveness for his daughter before big boss, he thought, but a thousand folds more; it isn't easy to think that your daughter will be living with men in a closed house, with no where to go, irrespective of the thousand cameras and the fact that there were other girls too - it is in humans nature to feel protective and worried for whom they cherish.
This made him think of all the times he had behaved with Shehnaaz in a way that would have made her father worry for her. Not that he ever harmed her or he ever could, but to think of everything from a father's perspective...he thought he should apologize.
"Uncle please! And sorry agr meine kabhi kuch kiya ho jiss se aap pareshan hue a-" he was interrupted by Santokh ji. "Ae ki gal kar rey ho puttar! Na Na! Kaddi ni" He warded off his apology.

There she was - Blind-folded, on the stage as he came on stage with some other boys. They hadn't told him that she'll be touching their hands and choosing. He imagined her choosing someone else and...for some reason, it frustrated him.
What he was feeling was so foreign and eerie, but nothing he could point out exactly.
On the other hand, a sudden peace washed over Shehnaaz as the previous fear and anxiety slowly washed away. Why? Something about the atmosphere seemed familiar, or rather someone, but she didn't know. Even with the blind fold, she felt something familiar in that vast, foreign land. The shoot earlier had went fine, she even had fun, enjoying the unwavering attention she was getting.
But the moment the activity was announced, her heart sank.
She naturally felt a bit disgusted. She had to touch the boys' hands and choose the person who felt the best. Well....
A bit hesitantly, and with help of Manish, she held the first person's hand. She didn't feel anything, his hand was cold and well, that's it and that's exactly what she gestured "So so hai" But then Manish held her hand to his face and she immediately took it back.
"Nhi meko touch ni karna kisi ko"
This had Sidharth, who was standing on the far end of the line, feel a little giddy and relieved. Why? Well he didn't know himself.
As they proceeded from one boy to the other, she really felt weird. She didn't like touching their hand and face, it felt so weird and ....weird. But there was this feeling in her heart that she couldn't put a finger on - something happy and - she didn't know.
But then she did. She knew exactly why she was feeling that "familiarity" a little while ago too as she touched the last person's hand. It felt like Sidharth. His whole aura felt like Sidharth. He smelled like Sidharth.
"Sidharth?!" her mind was screaming but she could say it. She couldn't stop her hand that moved up and touched his biceps, his shoulders, his hair. Sidharth Sidharth Sidharth. It all felt like Sidharth. She knew this hair, he'd gelled it. She knew how his hair felt between her fingers. She could recognize him. She had recognized him the moment her finger had lain on his palm. It took every bit of her sanity to not remove the blindfold and hug him ever so tightly! The anger and hurt long forgotten.
Manish pulled her away and she held back the curse. She was asked who she found the best and she felt giddy as she answered, also a little nervous. What if it wasn't Sidharth? It was! It all felt like him but....what if she was imagining it? She would end up looking like a fool. But she said what she had to nonetheless, just like she always did.
"Ye jo last vala touch kiya na, body thi jiss ki, vo mujhe thori Sidharth Shukla vaali feeling de raha tha" his name rolled off her tongue so familiarly, so nicely.
She felt the room go silent, just for a second or two before Manish said "Bass har jagah Sidharth Shukla, Sidharth Shukla. Big boss ka winner hai vo, yahan aa ke thori khara ho jaye ga" and she felt stupid to even think of it. He was right, ofcourse! Why would he come here? it was so so stupid of her to think that! She was mentally cursing and face palming herself.
Upon being asked who she chose, she chose the last person. It's okay if he wasn't Sidharth, at least he felt like him.

But Sidharth on the other side felt like he was flying. He didn't know he was feeling that, but he was. The moment she touched him, her expressions had changed and he knew she had recognized him; the fact that she wasn't hesitating to touch his arm, his hair, his face while she couldn't even touch other's hands, it had him exhilarated and he just felt such a rush of emotions that he wanted to crush her into a tight hug. And then the moment she took his name, he felt exactly how he'd felt when he won big boss. He was just so thrilled and He couldn't believe she really actually had recognized him in so many people, in so many possibilities. She didn't even know he'd be here!
He himself was shocked at the intensity of his emotions for her. "Was he in love with her?" He shoved away the question as quickly as it came. It was a scary thought, especially in their given situation.
His heart was beating out of his chest as he stood infront of her and her blind fold was being pulled off. He could see her sullen face and just couldn't wait to see how her expression would change while Shehnaaz felt like she was being played. The person who was taking her blind fold off, he no longer felt like Sidharth, not that aura anymore, not even his smell. Had she imagined it?
Her blindfold was taken off and the person infront of her had NO similarity to Sidharth. But why had she felt like that? why did she still feel like it? Why was she still feeling like Sidharth was -
and then it dawned upon her as she turned around. OH GOD!

Ah the msk reunion! I don't know if I can ever do justice to this beautiful moment!! It is almost like a fantasy, a movie.
The longest chapter I have written yet! Also, I try my best to write their dialogues exactly how the speak. Please tell me if you feel that! Don't forget to vote!