Hamesha and Forever - Sidnaaz

Chapter 7

"Bass kar Shehnaaz...tu kya paghal ho gayi hai kya, kitna roye gi meri jaan?" he rubbed her back as her tears still continues to cascad down her pretty face.
The were behind the stage on a break as the stage was being prepared for their final shot of her going inside the house. Her stomach was churning, and not in a good way. All the previous breaks had been spent in either talking to the director, preparing limes or her crying, hugging him.
"tu baat bhi mat kar mere se iss time!" she scoffed as she wiped her tears. He looked at her in amusement, "Abhi toh tu galey lagi hui thi. Ye ek dam se kya hua?" He smacked her head.
"Camera ke Liye kiya tha" She said, stifling her smile as he rolled his eyes.
"Achha ro kyon rahi hai boley gi?"
"Nhi!"
"kyon?"
"bass?" her voice quivered again
"Ab mein chamaat lagaon ga ek!" he pulled her face up to make her look at him.
"Tu ne phone kyon nhi uthaya Mera? Meine kitne call messege kiye! Aur tu toh busy tha na, kyon aya hai ab kutte! bara bol Ra hai *Shehnaaz is gem of a person, itna Saath deti hai* Kal tak toh flipper thi!? khud flip ho raha hai bhe*****" she fisted his hair and pulled on it.
"AAAHHH! Chor! baal chor Shehnaaz, gelled hein" he groaned and tried to get away but to no avail - the queen was in fury.
"Bol! jab tak boley ga Nhi, nahi choroon gi!" she pulled harder.
He could easily get out of of her hold but well, he didn't want to, her pulling was justified..
"Creatives be bola tha! Maa kasam! Aur vo subha mein so raha tha" he almost screamed.
She let his hair go.
"jhoot toh mat bol yaar" she shook her head in disappointment.
"meko kya dar para hai tera?" he rolled his eyes, setting his hair back in place.
"Darna chshiye tujhe Sidharth Shukla, darna chshiye! Mein aisa juloos nikaloon gi na tera tu moun chupaye ga dunya Se!" her eyes had reddened again but her face was stoic and angered as she waved her finger in front of his face.
"Dara mat bey!" he laughed, but he was worried for her. She was never this emotional.
She looked the other way, her eyes brimming again.
He inhaled a deep breath as he took her dainty hands in his.
"Sachi bol raha hoon Shehnaaz! Unhein natural reaction chahiye tha darling aur subha mein so gaya tha...idhar dekh...so gaya tha!I swear! Itne time baad ghar-" he tried to justify himself again, his tone and face so much more serious this time, even a little tensed as deep lines of worry appeared on his forehead.
"Aww tu tension le raha hai meri bebuu" she suddenly cooed, looking at his face. The worry in his eyes, the affection in his gesture, it was enough for her right now. And though her insecurities were eating her away, she could keep it together for a while. She was fine, she was strong. And he was trying, that was enough. for now, it was enough.
"ye tujhe ho kya jata hai bey ek dum se? kabhi roti hai, kabhi ghussa, kabhi pyar umad raha hai. Kya, hai kya bey tu?" he laughed and she laughed with him.
"But tu bol tu ro kyon rahi hai itna? Vese toh tu kabhi aise Nhi roti" he mumbled after a while. And her eyes watered yet again, as if she was on the edge of crying all the time.
"Areyy!" he looked at her watery eyes.
"Sidharth" a lump rose in her throat. Maybe she could let him in on her thoughts, even if it wasn't a good time to talk..."mein-"
she was cut off by a whistle. "Get ready for the shot! Shehnaaz Sidharth, on the stage! Come on jaldi!"
And her stomach dropped. It was time. for her to go inside the house again. For a whole week. In that house, without him, without Salman Sir, without Big boss's voice, without anyone else that she could find comfort in except her brother. but...WITHOUT HIM
Her heart was sinking, as she looked at him in panic, her hands were shaking.
"Sidharth" her voice was low and choked as she called to him for help. Her heart was suddenly beating too fast, her breath to erratic. "Sidharth" her voice was barely audible in the frenzy of the set and he could barely make it out as he turned around to look at her.
His hands came up to hold her shoulders the moment he registered her state.
Her eyes screamed fear and she looked too panicked and scared. She was breathing too fast. "kya hua Shehnaaz? Kya hua?! Are you okay baby kya hua?" he held her tighter, bending to reach her level as he held her shoulders. He panicked looking at her state. She looked scared.....and Shehnaaz Gill was rarely scared, close to never.
"mujhe Nhi Jana!" she whispered, in a daze.
"mujhe nhi Jana....no no no no" she kept repeating, shaking her head in a no, trying to get away from his hands.
"Shehnaaz, idhar Dekho! mujhe Dekho! you're panicking too much, is it like...do u have a history of panic attacks or something? Shehnaaz kya hua?" He was so worried, his lungs felt constricted.
"Mujhe Nhi Jana....mujh se nhi hoga" she shivered.
"I- Ruko! Wait" he took her hand and started walking towards her vanity.
"Sir Please onstage ajaiye, shot ready hone vala hai" a spot boy called as he saw them from a far.
"We are coming! tell the director we will be there in time" he replied back as he hurried them into the vanity.
He sat her down and poured her a glass of water.
"Sidharth...unko bol mere se nhi-"
"Chup karo aur paani pio Shehnaaz"
She took a sip.
"Just breathe for a while. Kuch mat socho! Saans lo! Kuch nhi hoga without your permission. Take Deep breaths" his voice was devoid of anything.
After a minute or so, her panic subsided a little and she felt a lot better. The shivering had stopped and her heart beat was returning to normal.
But she still felt as if she was falling from a cliff. The fear, the stomach drop - it was all the same.
"Tujhe anxiety ka problem raha hai kabhi?"
she shook her head. No, not the clinical one atleast.
"toh kya hua Shehnaaz? Kyon pareshaan ho rhi ho Itna" he sat down beside her, pulling her into his chest
"Psta Nhi, mere se nhi vaapis jaya jaye ga" her voice was small.
"Toh mat Jaa! Contract tha but it's okay, fine bhar dena. Nothing is important than your sanity and health. But kyon? ye kyon ho raha hai? Why are feeling like this? vese toh tu kabhi nhi darti"
"pata nahi" She sighed.
She felt better. Her senses were coming back and so was her strength, as he talked to her, made her Remember who she was.
"Tu strong hai Shehnaaz! Tu ye sab kar sakti hai. Ye sab toh kuch nhi hai uss ke saamney jo tu ne bb mein dekha hai. Paghal hai tu?"
he said.
He wasn't getting it. She wasn't scared about what she would face there, oh She could face hell and rise with the demons as her slaves.
She didn't fear the world. She wasn't even a tad bit scared before entering bb itself.
it was just that....he wouldnt be there in Msk. She would be all alone.
She wanted to tell him this.....and she did.
"Tu nhi hoga vahan" she sobbed
"Toh? tu mere saath ayi thi bb mein? Bb mein mein larta tha kya tere lie? tu ne kiya vo sab, kyon ke tu kar sakti hai! kyon weak par rhi hai Abhi?"
He was right. She looked at her reflection in the huge wall mirror and she got exactly what she was looking for.
She needed herself.
Why was she getting weak?, she thought to herself and got her answer right away - because she was forgetting who she was, her world was suddenly revolving too much around Sidharth.
In the past, she had always relied on herself for support. Always gathered her own self, fought for herself, loved herself, cherished herself. but now, she felt she had started to rely too much on Sidharth.
It wasnt good for her. Atleast not now, not in their given situation.
She kissed his chest.
"Tu itna achha hai teko pata hai?" she smiled a little.
"huh?"
"kuch mhi. abhi better hoon mein."
"But hua ky-"
"Sidharth...baad mein....abhi time Nhi hai na yaar. Aur...bohot mushkil se sambhal rhi hoon khud ko, Abhi mat kar...." she got up and wiped her tear, breathing a big breath to relieve the heaviness.
"Are you sure Meri jaan"
"han. ab tu bahar jaa mein ayi" She looked at him and smiled. Well, she tried.
"Pakka?"
"Haan...aur tension mat le. ab nikal mein makeup set kar ke ayi"
He couldn't do anything but obey as he went outside and to the set. The sudden shift in her had legit him baffled. He had no idea what had cause the attack and what made it better. He was worried sick for her.
She looked at herself in the mirror.
"koi na Sana! paghal hai tu? Kalley aye the dunya ich, kalley Jayein ge ek din. toh darna kya?" She flipped her hair and added a fresh layer of lipstick.
"Koi na, it's okay. Tu kar sakti hai ye! Strong hai tu. Aur Sidharth toh hai Tere Saath...bass andar nhi hogs" she talked to herself in her mind as she recollected her scattered form and walked to the set.

That's it for today folks! Love you! Don't forget to vote