to the limit [{spencer x reader}]

chapter 22: Seattle Grace Mercy Death

it has been a couple of days since the team found out about your dead thingy and its been weird. apparently, spencer and mia started dating only a few weeks after you 'died' and he was talking to her even when you were still alive. she told you that they would just talk but then after you were gone he took her out and after a few dates he took her the culture house and asked her to be his girlfriend. that is just so sweet in your opinion. the culture house was the place you showed him, the place you guys went to a lot, fuck, you even had sex there. it feels really nice to know that 'your place' has now become theirs. 

it honestly feels like you were going through a breakup but its all fucked up. its like he broke up with you and automatically went to her and is now ignoring you but you had done nothing wrong. 

men are so fucking stupid. 

and if you didn't already feel like crawling into a grave, the team is taking the jet with you to seattle to tell everyone that you are no longer unalive. goodie. you have totally convinced yourself that they are going to hate you and you are welcoming that feeling. this is the worse you have ever felt throughout these 6 months, yes they do know your alive but you have changed, you have thought that you would never see them again. the only problem is spencer, you just feel sad, angry, jealous. 

mia, shes just so perfect. first off her father owns a very  successful publishing business, so of course she grew up rich. she is the snobby rich girl who is a real estate agent but still lives off of daddy's money, and you just know that she has never had kinky sex. she is such a people pleaser but she just seems so distant. she doesn't show romance or anything with spencer which makes you fucking pissed if your going to date him at least show that you care more than a friend. he deserves someone who could actually love him and she is the quite opposite. you would be less mad or sad if they were actually in love because he deserves the world.

...

you felt even more depressed than you have in the past 6 months and you have no idea why. everything is moving too fast. you're being rushed to Seattle, hotch had already offered your job back, apparently, penny had put all your things in storage so you could move back to Virginia. you felt like you needed to do all these things to please them and you absolutely hated it. you were so used to not having anyone to please, you had no one to care about and you liked it that way that was your new normal.

on the whole jet ride, you just went on your phone like a child. everyone was happy to see that you were alive, well everyone but spencer, he refused to even look at you. you thought you loved him but now you hate him. you love people you don't like, that's just fan-fucking-tastic. you guys decided that everyone would probably be at joe's so you all drove there. 

getting out of the car, everyone went ahead of you, you felt scared, not knowing what their reactions would be, not knowing if they would even be there. you took a deep breath before following the team into the bar. the big group must have drawn attention to the door because when you went into the bar, all eyes were on you. almost everyone was there. amelia, alex, ben, mer, bailey, andy, maya, carina, vic, jack, and the rest of the firefighters but the surgeons must have been on call. all of their eyes were wide, not everyone knew you were alive.

"what? you guys look like you saw a ghost or something. shit i-" you said then realized exactly what you had just said. merideth and alex both looked at their watches then got up.

"i am happy that you are alive, there is probably one hell of a story but we are on call, i love you goodbye." mer said then went out the door. alex looked like he was going to cry but gave you a hug then left. 

"get out of my bar." joe said from behind the bar, looking in shock, you didn't leave so he started walking over to you. "you are dead, you are not real, leave!" he started to scream. you sighed then turned around and moved your hair the show a burn mark behind your ear that you got when you worked with him. you turned back around to teary-eyed joe.

"now sit down i have some explaining to do." you told him. everyone sat down at one big table and you went on the end. "so you guys thought i was dead but im alive so yeah. my dad kidnapped me and held me for many days doing a lot of things to me- i don't know what he did, i do not want to know, only the people in the o.r. knows exactly what he did. one day the room caught on fire and he threatened me and you guys if i made it out alive so i faked my own death. any questions?" you said flatly.

"so you needed to die? you needed to come back to us at a random time acting like nothing happened?" vic questioned, clearly very hurt.

"we all thought you were dead. i blamed myself. if i were to get to you on time, maybe you would still be alive." dean raised his voice.

"well now you know that its not your fault." you said and gave them a sarcastic smile. you didn't feel anything, your body was numb.

vic and dean were trying to calm down from your lack of emotion and amelia shot you a death glare which you shrugged off.

"so, whats new?" you asked. everyone started talking about what has happened while you were gone and you paid attention.

"hey baby, you miss me?" his gruff voice said. you cringed at your ex-boyfriend's voice. jack was you boyfriend then after a year he randomly broke up with you and every time he see's you he thinks your still together.

"nope, not one bit." you said.

"oh come on, you know you miss me, what we had, everything." he said and started to get close to your ear, trying to kiss you.

"leave me alone jack." you said, starting to tear up at the memories that are coming back.

"oh whats wrong baby?" he asked, getting very close to you.

the sadness has been taken over by rage. you reached into your bag for your taser and put it on his crotch. "would you like a crispy dick?" you questioned. he shook his head, not believing you. you pushed the taser harder onto his crotch. "are you sure?" you asked. jack backed away from you slowly and you put your taser away, muttering a lot of things in italian. 

everyone gave you a weird look because of your behavior. you weren't drinking or talking so apparently it was weird, whatever. you joined in the conversations to make your presence known. your phone started ringing out of nowhere so you picked it up.

"y/n its alex."

"hello alex."

"you need to come to the hospital, something happened with mer, im-"

you hung up before he could finish, picked up your things and started leaving. tears clouded your eyes, you heard everyone at the bar calling for you but you ignored them, so they followed you. you got to the street and just walked right in the middle, cars honking, people screaming, everyone following behind you. alex was waiting in front of the hospital but you walked past him and right into the e.r. 

as soon as you saw her you froze. doctors surrounding her, one red head standing out the most. it was the doctor who killed derek.

"get her away from her!" you screamed as you tried to catch up with everyone.

you kept screaming at the doctor but alex pulled you away so they could get merideth to an o.r. 

"come hai potuto lasciarla stare vicino a mer! lei ha ucciso derek! lei sta per uccidere mer! come puoi?! come puoi?! (how could you let her stay close to mer! she killed derek! she's going to kill wed! how can you ?! how can you ?!)" you kept screaming at him in Italian, pushing him, hitting him. your tears were flowing and you were definitely causing a scene but you didn't care.

alex grabs your arms that were hitting his chest. "shut up!" he repeatedly screamed which did the trick. "she is working with everyone else, they wont let anything happen to mer." he told you. 

your head fell onto his chest and you cried, mumbling things about mer.

...

(a/n): sorry that this chapter was so short i kinda lost track of time so i couldn't make a longer one! please vote, comment, and follow!! follow me on twitter: