Mean Bands (Bandom version of Mean Girls)

On Wednesdays We Wear Black

The next day, on Wednesday, I walk into music class wearing a tight black hoodie that Pete lent me. Joe Trohman, a kid who sits near me in class, over to my desk. "Hey, you're Patrick, right?" he says. I nod. "Well, the name's Joseph Trohman, but my friends call me Joe-Troh with the fro! Pleasure to make your acquaintance."

Joe hands me a business card with the words, J. Trohman: Super chill guitar player, afro dude, and swagtastic M.C.

"Thanks, um, Joe," I say, taking the card. "Wait, there's something I need to tell you," Joe adds. "You're talented, man. I heard you in class the other day - and I don't think you know this, but you have a soul voice. I need a new singer for my band, and if I get one, we get twice the funding for the Battle of the Bands."

Battle of the Bands? That sounds epic.

"I'll think about it," I decide. I take my seat in class, and a really cute girl sits at the desk in front of me that is usually empty. She has curly black hair and an amazing smile. "I don't understand how to sing this note," she says. "Can you teach me?" "Sure," I reply. I look over her music and explain the note to her. "Thanks," she says when I finish. "The name's Elisa. Elisa Yao." "I'm Patrick," I reply, blushing. She's so pretty, I can't take my eyes off her.

At lunch, I join up with the Plastics again, where Andy is freaking out about his vegan diet. "Patrick, is there animal products in these mozzarella sticks?" he asks me. "I'm going vegan, and I don't want to eat anything with animal fat in it." "I think there is," I tell Andy. "Whatever," he scoffs, getting up from our table. "I'm getting cheese fries."

After Andy leaves, Brendon and Gerard scoot closer to me. "So, any hot girls you like?" Gerard asks, a sly smirk on his face. I remember Elisa, the girl from music class. "Oh, no!" gasp Brendon. "You can't like Elisa. She's Andy's ex! Ex-girlfriends are off-limits, I mean, it's like the rules of feminism!"

"We're guys, Brendon!" I say. "Still, you can't have her, dude," Brendon sighs.

"Anyways," he continues. "Andy wanted me to tell you about our special fashion rules. Of course, you know on Wednesdays we wear black, but there's a whole lot more. First of all, never wear the same thing twice a week. You can only wear a hat once a week. You're wearing one now so... I guess you picked today. On Monday, we wear combat boots. Tuesday, wear a shirt with song lyrics on it. No leather jackets are allowed Mondays or Tuesdays. You can only wear leather pants on Fridays. Also, no tattoos. They're Andy's thing. See, if I got a tattoo, I'd have to cover it up, or else I'd be sitting with the stupid boy band trash."

Brendon looks over at the table where five British-looking boys sing a song about what makes a girl beautiful. "Oh gosh, they're harmonizing," Gerard says, shaking his head. Brendon adds, "That is so not punk rock."

Andy returns to the table with cheese fries. "What's punk rock?" he asks. "Oh, it's slang in Britain!" Brendon exclaims. "I don't care," Andy says, shushing Brendon.

When school ends for the day, Andy pulls up in his truck, shouting, "Get in, young bloods, we're going shopping!" I climb in with Brendon and Gerard, and we head to the mall.

Andy walks us over to the mall's fountain. We recognize lots of our classmates from South Shore, but Brendon sees a face he is not happy to see. "That's Dallon Weekes!" he gasps. "He was the guy making out with my ex-girlfriend at that party!" "Dallon can't be going out with her!" Gerard exclaims. "Yeah!" Andy agrees. "He can not dump you like that. Brendon, give me your phone."

Brendon nervously hands over his phone to Andy, who dials a number. "Hello, is this the Weekes residence?" he says into the phone. "Alright, well, this is Jared from Planned Parenthood. Dallon's girlfriend's test results just came back."

Brendon and Gerard bust out laughing as Dallon's phone rings. "He's not going out with anyone," Andy laughs. "So, Patrick, what do you want to do as a hobby? There are so many cool things you can do here."

"I was thinking of joining Joe Trohman's band," I say. Gerard gasps. "You can't join a band, Patrick! That's social suicide! Besides, Joe is a nerd!" "Yeah!" Andy agrees. "You are so lucky you have good friends like us to guide you!"

We head into a store where I see two familiar faces working at the counter. While the Plastics aren't looking, I talk to them. "Pete, Hayley, I didn't know you worked here!"

"Hey, Patrick!" Hayley smiles. "How's spying on the Plastics going!" "Great!" I say. "I still think they're not all that bad, but they got all weird when I mentioned wanting to join a band. What's so bad about joining a band?"

"You can't join a band, that's social suicide!" Pete exclaims. "Gosh, you are so lucky you have me to guide you! You know, once time Joe Trohman went up to me in a bookstore and asked me to start a band with him. I told him 'no way!' I mean, me in a band? When would that ever happen?"

"Okay, then," I say, surprised at Pete's reaction. "I better catch up with Andy. See you!"

Then, I head into Andy's truck with the Plastics to go to his house.