Mean Bands (Bandom version of Mean Girls)

Apologies

Still unsure what to do, I take a seat with the rest of the students in the bleachers.

"Everyone be quiet! We will keep you here all night if we have to!" shouts Mr. Armstrong. "We can't keep them past nine in the afternoon," protests another teacher. "Alright," Mr. Armstrong sighs. "We will keep you here until nine in the afternoon!"

Everyone keeps fighting, until Mr. Armstrong holds up the Burn Book.

"We are gathered here today because of this book, right?" says Mr. Armstrong. "Well, all I can say is that you've all got to stop calling each other emos and nerds, because let's face it, you are all emo nerds. Who here has ever been accused of being emo?"

Almost the entire student body raises their hands. "Well then," continues Mr. Armstrong. "Who would like to comment on our school's bullying problem?"

Andy raises his hand and says, "Mr. Armstrong, there is no bullying problem at this school. In fact, we all get along great here at South Shore. Can we go back to class?"

"No, we are staying here. In fact, I think you might be part of our school's bullying problem, Andy," smirks Mr. Armstrong. "Who here has ever felt personally victimized by Andy Hurley?"
Again, all the students and even a few teachers raise their hands.

Mr. Armstrong nods, "Just as I thought. Now everybody needs to get up."

Mr. Armstrong had us do a trust fall where we'd write apologies to people we'd hurt in the past. Gerard was the first person to go up, saying, "Frank Iero, I don't hate you because you're emo. You're emo because I hate you." He falls into the crowd, and we all cheer.

Next to speak is Phil Lester. "Dan Howell, I'm sorry I laughed at you that time you had an existential crisis in Barnes & Noble. And I'm sorry for telling everyone about it... and for bringing it up again right now."

Soon, Zayn Malik comes on to read a note, but instead of apologizing, he bursts into tears. "I wish we could all get along like we used to back in 2005!" he sobs. "I wish that My Chemical Romance would get back together and we could see them live and be happy!"

One Direction looks around, confused. Then Harry Styles shouts, "He doesn't even go here anymore!"

"You don't understand!" Zayn continues. "It shouldn't be this way! Andy's not mean, and Patrick's not a Plastic! They're supposed to be in a band with Joe Trohman and Pete Wentz, and they are Fall Out Boy, the greatest band to walk the Earth!"

Pete stares at Zayn. "I have no idea what you're talking about," he says. "What is Fall Out Boy? They sound like a bunch of losers. I bet their bassist is an idiot."

"Do you even go to this school?" Mr. Armstrong asks Zayn. "No," Zayn cries, wiping his tears. "I just have a lot of feelings."

There is an awkward silence after Zayn leaves, and Brendon steps up and says, "I'm sorry that everyone is so jealous of me, but I can't help it that I'm fabulous."

He stars to fall, but the only person to catch him is a random boy named Donnie. Brendon lands on Donnie, and they take a mighty fall to the ground.

"Well..." says Mr. Armstrong, unsure how to react. "What a catch, Donnie."

Then, Hayley gets up and reads her apology. "I have an apology," she says, reading from her card. "You see, I had this friend who was a new student this year, and I convinced him that it would be fun to mess up Andy Hurley's life. So I had him pretend to be friends with Andy, and after he hung out with Andy we would just go to my house and make fun of all the dumb stuff he said. Ooh, and we gave him these vegan things that made him gain weight, and we turned his best friends against him, and... oh yeah. You know my friend Patrick Stump? He made out with Andy's girlfriend, and we convinced Elisa to break up with Andy."

The entire room stares at me in shock, and Hayley continues confessing what we've done. "Gosh, I don't know why I did all that, actually," she laughs. "Maybe it's because I've got a big girly crush on you, Andy. Suck on that! AI-YI-YI-YI-YI!"

Hayley leaps into the crowd, and they catch her, giving a cheer for all the broken. Andy, however glares at me angrily. "Patrick, we need to talk!" he shouts, dragging me by the arm.

The two of us head outside the campus, and Andy looks furious. "Andy, I can explain! I'm sorry!" I shout, trying to reason with him.

"No, you're not sorry!" Andy wails, marching into the street. "You ruined my life, Patrick! The damage is already done, so you can take that apology and shove it up your-"

He's cut off as a tour bus barrels down the street, running him over. "Andy!" I scream. "Andy, no!"

And that was the story of how Andy Hurley died.