Make me yours

Chapter 19

TW: MENTION SUICIDE

Happy pride month, bestiesss! Drink water and fuck other people opinions ! ;)) 

Continuation of the night Livian figured it all out aka Last night

My body freezes to those simple two words, my blood starting to boil, I can feel my nails starting to dag on my own palms and my mind, oh my mind is lost.

How could they do that to me? How could they expect a 16-year-old to even react to that? Am I expected to freak out, cry my eyes out and scream? Probably. And the fact that I am, against all odds, capable of simply staying almost calmly looking at nothing and almost rationally thinking about this is scaring me even more.

How could I react to the fact that my grandmother has been training me for a life of criminal acts and doubting decisions where I have simply no option other than accept it? All the times she made me read people's actions, all the talks about how to be a powerful and independent woman it was all for this excuse of future that I was born to do.

All of our moments weren't more than preparing the pig for its killing. And I am the pig.

I look at Thomas my head moving too quick to my weak brain to keep up with. Why should I believe him?

"Why should I believe you?" I ask with a mean and cold tone. For the first time, my Italian accent is noticeable, it doesn't happen often. My family as a worldwide business family thought me English since I was little, we even talked English at home, and between my mom's perfect British accent and my dad's lack of one, I have developed an unnoticeable and discreet one. Not in this situation tho, not as nervous as I am.

"I can prove everything I am telling you." He says. Have I ever notice how deep his voice is? Not the good kind of deep tho, the one that gives you chills and that hunts your nightmares. And now that I know he is part of the mafia I can't help to be even more scared. However, I am not going to show it to him, I am not going to give him that gruesome pleasure. But then he talks again with some fake-ass sweet tone that makes me shiver to the bone. "Just say the words, Katarina. Say you're in."

My breath becomes quicker to the mention of my new name but I try to hide it. Come on, be ration, Livian. Think. Think. Think. I can't enter the Mafia I don't even know what I would do there, I don't know where I am leading to. I will, most definitely, end up dead.

My head slowly tries to piece everything together so I can think of a way out of this situation. All the information I have learned is on repeat on my mind so I can try to do something with it, sounds easier than it actually is. But then the first loople appears.

"What is my brother's name?" I ask maybe too loudly compared to the heavy silence in the room. Both of their eyes wild open, both of the men in this room can't seem to understand why I made such a question.

"Joshua?" Mattheo looks at me so confused that for a moment I forget why I asked it in the first place. I can almost hear his confused thoughts driving mad in his brain and all the neutral expressions he has seemed to go away when all he does is looking confused at me.

"It is an English name," I state. "You almost made fun of me for believing that Livian was my name because it was not Italian, but my brother's name isn't either." The more I think about it the less sense it makes. Most of my family never meet my grandfather, there is no chance he is named after him. There is no reason for his name to be English.

"That is different." It is Thomas's voice that answers me. His cold voice sounds almost afraid, insecure, nervous but that would be impossible, wouldn't it? That man has no reason to be feeling any of that. I look at him but he is looking at the wall behind me with a facial expression from who is far away from here, lost in thoughts. "I am going to ask you to leave that alone, for now." His eyes don't meet mine when he answers and his expression doesn't change but his voice is as demanding as it is possible.