Make me yours

Chapter 28

Tell Jesus that the bitch is back! 

Heyy babies, I'm sorry it took so long to update my life has been crazy and I was honestly thinking about deleting the fic but you guys have been showing me so much love. Thank you all. I promise I will try to update regularly now. 

Anyways here is a short chapter but the next one is going to be crazy so stay tuned. 

love youuuuu

You would think I would be used to this house by now. You would think that this office is just as comfortable as any other room in this way too big house. You would think that I got used to Thomas Riddle's presence. But I didn't and I bet I never will. I am not the Livian I was before and I will never be. I spent months training and becoming this rogue girl whose life is killing and not feeling. 

But it still overflows all over my body especially as I feel his presence everywhere. Mostly his anger. I can feel it all. It is caressing my skin, and electrocuting my hair, it is whispering in my ear and screaming at my face. And yet he is silent. Sitting in front of me, not a single word leaving his closed mouth. 

The table is round and the room is dark. But I can see Thomas' eyes and how they are always on me. Since he rescued Mattheo and me from that creepy basement his eyes never left me. You would think I would be used to his attention, I should be unaffected by it by now. The truth, however, is that even tho I have learnt to look like it from the outside I am always pretending when in reality it pierces through me and it eats the sanity I have left.

We entered the car, went back to his house, left the car, entered the house and then this room in absolute silence. He hasn't talked yet and the silence is starting to get into me, I control my breath and I keep it low as if the smallest sound would make the tension in the air explode. Thomas doesn't speak and doesn't explain what problems we apparently have. Nothing. However, for a silent man, he sure has a lot of presence. A presence that prevents my mind from forming thoughts, can't think about anything other than his attention on me. 

Mattheo senses my discomfort, I know he does. Because he keeps himself close to me. So close. It would be uncomfortable if it didn't feel like a rescue. He doesn't touch me but he makes sure he is always between me and his dad as if he could protect me from the world and more. It makes me feel safe in a way that makes me loved. Call it daddy issues, call it trauma response, you can even call it hypocritical for what I care. I have a bossy attitude and I swear I need no one to protect me but the way he is there for me makes me warm inside. Makes me feel like even tho I so loudly declare my need for no one there is someone by my side. 

"We killed them at the end," Mattheo says finally breaking the silence. There is something about the way he says it that makes it sound like he is apologizing or ashamed of having asked for the help of his father. Thomas doesn't even break the eye contact he is holding with me, doesn't even blink but his anger is still noticeable like it is part of my own feelings. 

"Please Matheo. That was shameful." He answers still looking at me. His voice is sharp enough to physically hurt, he talks with so much disgust, such a vicious way that makes me ashamed of it too. I try to keep my posture, try to keep my back straight and my eyes still on his. I try not to show any emotion, hiding the fear and nervousness I now feel on my spine. "But my problems right now are bigger than two teenagers who I have invested largely in training and show no result disappointing me every time." 

"Please Thomas." I bite back my tone as sharp as his and my eyes looking at him with as much sass as I can apply. "Stop the drama queen behaviour and start talking. What problems am I facing now on top of having to be here looking at you?" I can see Mattheo's smile from the corner of my eye but I keep staring at Thomas. 

"Glad you have the energy to be bitchy because you will need energy to what we're about to do." He continues while opening the computer that he just put on the table. The bitterness in his voice was replaced by a seriousness that makes me shiver.  In all these months working with him, I have never listened to this type of conversation. For him, nothing is a big deal: entering a high-security building? Piece of cake! Kill 3 men without them calling for help before? A baby could do that! It's frustrating most of the time being told to do excruciating things and never feeling like your pain or difficulty is understood. But that feeling doesn't come close to the fear of him admitting we have something actually hard or using his words: energy demanding. 

My leg is starting to move, my shoe making noise on the clean floor. I tap it purely out of anxiety because the man in front of me seems to love dramatic pauses. My eyes don't leave him but now his are on the computer while he pressed the keyboard quickly. I feel every finger as a shock on my spine. Mattheo's hand touches my bouncing leg lightly resting there so I don't move it anymore. 

"There is a big threat to the Society right now." He says finally. "We don't know who it is but we know it is an organized attack that has been seducing our members into betrayal. For now, they only succeed in moving some of our money and setting suspicion among our people." He turns the computer around and I see emails and bank transfers and names so many names. Macini mostly. I try to read it but Thomas changes to another page on the computer show, this time, a map. "We tracked the money and have a location. The best thing we can do now is going there and end them for good."

"Don't you think bringing Livian there is dumb?" Mattheo says his hand still on my leg. "I mean the easiest way to destroy us now is to end her and taking her to them is making their job way easier." He talks calmly and his father's eyes slide to him as well as mine do. I want to object to saying that I am more than capable to go there and kill them without being killed but Thomas talks first. 

"I would agree with you. However, I'm afraid they are also planting in our people's heads that Livian is not strong enough to lead. I decided that if she doesn't go it will look bad." Thomas speaks looking at me. His eyes pierce through me and I know I know then that tomorrow will be the most challenging day I have ever lived. 

"If you knew what would happen would you have gone?" The lady asks as I take a moment to breathe. I look at her, her eyes aren't mean she looks interested in a way that makes me forget the context of my being here. I think about what she asked me. Would I? It sure was a hell of a ride after entering that house and it sure tore me apart and sure it traumatised me deeply. However, it also answered many questions and opened doors that I thought were closed long ago. 

"Probably not," I answer quietly. And for the first time in this whole conversation, I break eye contact looking at the ring on my hand. "But I am glad I didn't know."