Seasons

Working For You

It all made sense now even his emotions but I still don't have and won't have the connection they had and I figured that is what he needs. I can try but they had something real and that is rare.  I mean I can try to create that connection but if I force it then it will backfire.

Weeks passed and the feeling between Jason and I is gone and so is my boyfriend. I have now meet someone new his name is Eli. He is tall, has the best blue green eyes I have ever seen, and he has dark red hair.  He now reminds me much of Jason. I didnt think of it before when I first met him.They share similar qualities but he is more attentive and less angry. He is my other half, I feel complete with him. He now reminds me much of Jason. I didn't think of it before when I first met him.They share similar qualities but he is more attentive and less angry. He is my other half, I feel complete with him. Eli and I have quickly bonded over emotions we have both experienced and that we understand. He is quiet and shy and the most loving caring human I have met. He, like everyone, has his faults and imperfections but he is the most loving and caring man I have met in a long while. It was like I was looking back at my reflection. 

Hours passed, Jason was nowhere to be found or heard from. I was worried about him. He doesn't seem very emotionally stable right now. But I guess this is his normal, I need to accept and learn his patterns.

I sat at the bar at Q Carters watching as they made drinks while I sipped on my vodka soda shhh don't tell. My mind and thoughts were moving a million miles a minute. I have no control over it and I hate it. I often wonder if something is actually wrong with me? Everyone seems to think so.

"One more" I took the last sip and slid my glass tword Quinn. Her facial expression was too familiar...

"Do not look at me like that" I rubbed my face and tugged at my hair

"Jason?" she leaned over lifting my chin, her greens eyes pierced my soul or what was left. The eye contact help for a few seconds I wanted to cry something about the way she looked at me made me want to let all my guards down and show her all my issues and my demons

"You can talk to me" I looked up at her and cried

"Come with me" she came out from behind the bar and grabbed my hand. She pulled me to the back room. I was a total sobbing mess who could not breath nor get a hold of himself. I also had too much to drink for some reason. I think it makes me feel better but obviously every time I drink I feel more.

I don't think of Jason as much anymore. I still wonder about the man but I have made peace with the past and I am grateful for all the memories we have made over our high school years. I would not trade them for anything.If he did need me though I would be there. Even if Saige needed my help I would help her. There is no reason I should hate her yes maybe I did at first only because I was hurt by him this girl did nothing but love a man who deserves nothing but love after everything he has gone through.

I could not stand how late it was and the fact he was not home. It was snowing very hard. I was worried something had happened to him, I didn't care what we were fighting about anymore. I just need him to return home to me and not in a body bag. I walked down the stairs Delanie was sitting on the couch watching tv.

"Hey, what are you still doing awake?" she moved over leaving me some of the comforter she was bundled in.

"Can't sleep, what about you?"

"Waiting for my brother, and I know that is why you are still awake" she raised her eyebrow at ,me

"Fine.. fine i'm waiting for him too"

"There is sleepy time tea"

"Thanks" I grabbed a mug, poured my tea and added my sugar and honey. I sat back down next to Delaine and coved my legs with the blanket

"He will be back" she sighed and was very calm and used to this

"How do you know?" She looked at me

"He has done this so many times and he has always come back." I took a deep breath and relaxed. It made me feel better that he had done this before. I rested my head on her leg and soon my eyes were heavy. 

I sat there with a very drunk and depressed Jason. I had no idea it went this deep. I had a feeling he is like me in many ways.

"Let's get you home" I lifted his head he was a sweaty crying mess, his eyes were so very deep, hurt and sincere he deserves more than what he is dealing with. I got him into my truck. It was difficult since I had just recently had it lifted. I put in  his address I had written down from his application and put it in my phone.

I jumped at a knock at the door, Delanie jumped over the back and pound the door I felt a rush of cold air and snow blew through the walkway. In stumbled in Jason and a girl... Just great!