Seasons

Just A Little While

 I may not feel all the emotions right now but I will, I always feel the emotions after the actions.I had one more chance to to try to fix this but what is done is done. Saige and I looked at each other I didn't know what to say

"I'm sorry" Saige stayed quiet I went in for a hug and she hugged me back I pushed him away grabbed my bags and walked through the doors not looking back I couldn't

I watched the scene play out on infront of me, I watched as Saige walked through the doors Jason stood there for a second then got back in the car with a blank stare  I drove out of the airport, back to his house the ride was silent just like the night he told me about Saige I couldn't tell what he was thinking or feeling I used to be able too by just the way he would look at me and the way he carried his head and shoulders.

"Jason?"

"What!" he snapped

"Sorry I just wanna know if you are ok"

"I will be" he sighed

"Why did you come out here?" he asked with a harsh tone

"To see you, I have missed you so much"

"I have missed you too Ava, there hasn't been a day that has gone bye where I have not thought of you" a smile appeared across his face  I missed that smile I just missed him he rested his hand on my thigh sending electricity through my body. The ride home was quite other than our playlist we made in highschool playing in the background. He kept his hand there until we got back to his house.

I watched at Ava walked into my house as if it was her own, I wonder why she came all the way out here we hardly ever speak and her timing is very convenient. I wanted to ask her but there is no way in hell I want to fight with another woman today.

"What?" Ava asked I guess she could tell my mind was running a million miles a minute

"Nothing" I know she won't drop this she will get it out of me one way or another like she always does. It is actually quite irritating I can never just have thoughts to myself. 

"OK" she simply stated no begging for me to tell her. The Ava I remember would beg me to tell her. I shrugged Ava made a face at me one i have not seen in a long while

"What was that face for?" the sentence came out more aggressive then I intended

"Nothing, just your demeanor changed as soon as you walked into the house" she snapped at me

I took a breath I was far too emotional to have this conversation right now. I shook my head and walked up the stairs to my bedroom leaving Ava in the living room.

I stood in the living room where Jason left me I heard his bedroom door slam, I don't know why I was so snippy with him just now I have always tried to calm him when he gets into these moods.I walked to the kitchen I grabbed a mug and made a cup of coffee confused the encounter Jason and I have just shared I realized I don't know him like the back of my hand anymore like I did a couple of years ago. I walked to the bottom of the stairs

"Jason?" I called hoping he would come out, his door didn't budge after letting out a few frustrated sighs I left him alone. After about five minutes Jason came rushing down the stairs the sound of his shoes as they hit each step echoed the small house , he walked past me holding a lighter and a pack of cigarettes.

"Jason what the fuck are you doing!" I exclaimed as I followed him out the front door to the small porch he held the cigarette and the lighter to his mouth ignoring my presence and look of disgust. I watched as he took a few puff then put it out.

"You have no room to judge you vaped all last year and still have not quite" Jason snapped at me  

"Yes, I did and quitting was so hard!"

"If it makes you feel any better my vape died so I took a puff of a cigarette so I won't get angry when the nicotine withdrawals hit"

"Jason that is part of withdrawals you can't quite and no be in pain"

"Ava, i'm sorry about earlier" Jason said his eyes full of sincere

"I'm sorry too" he smiled pulling me into a hug, he smelled faint but strong of cigarettes

"I don't like cigarettes"

"Me either" he said still holding me close, I looked up at him as he looked down he is a few inches taller than me. He gave me weak smile I knew he was hurting but won't admit it.

 "I'm going to go shower" Jason let go of me. I followed him through the house and up the stairs to his room, it was different than the one I was used to. Jason took off his black t-shirt my eyes wandered his lean and toned body, Jason smirked when he realized I was staring, I blushed, I have never been nervous around him so why am I now? 

Jason went into his bathroom and brushed his teeth. I sat on his bed trying not to stare, the last thing I wanna do is sleep with a very emotional Jason.

"I will be right out" he closes the door, the shower turns and the shower curtain ruffles, I signed as I looked through my suitcase, I pulled out a hoodie and my gray Nike Pro shorts I changed and put back the clothes I took out.

 I could hear Jason's slight sniffles I remember how depressed he always have been he only breaks when too much shit happens at once. I don't know how he still functions as a human. I have always admired his strength. I opened the bathroom door the sniffles stopped, I got undressed and got into the shower his head hung low the water hitting his back, he turned away for me I felt exposed and shy even though we have seen each other naked more times than I can count.