Chemistry

Pilot Performance of Drew Package

I kept my eyes closed and took a deep breath. I ended up coughing instead. I panicked and opened my eyes. Salt stung them. I freaked out. I was underwater. Assuming I had been unconscious for 5 minutes, I had approximately 5 minutes left of air to get up to the surface. I reached down with my feet and pushed off the seafloor. Thankfully, my mission suit had been equipped with a button to allow my mission boots to change to flippers. I pushed the button and started to swim upward. I kicked something squishy and I freaked out. I kicked faster. A few minutes later, I saw a light bobbing up and down. Up. Down. Up. Down. It was entrancing, really. I wanted to touch it, to feel its warmth. I was feeling a little light-headed, but I swam towards it anyway. I reached out to touch it and jaws snapped into view. I screamed-it was an angler fish. I had 1 minute left of air. I turned into a shark and swam faster. As soon as I saw the surface, I switched back into a human. As soon as I broke the surface, I gasped for air-and for another reason as well- I saw Andie, about 30 feet above the ocean's surface, hanging from the cavern's ceiling. Thankfully, she was hanging by her hands with a rope. Not her neck. Either way, she was either a really deep sleeper, or she was unconscious. I tried to fly up to her, but Amàya had disabled that power. I looked around. I heard splashes, and I jerked my head toward the sound. I couldn't see anything. I shot a ball of fire from my hands toward the direction I heard splashes. I heard an angry hiss and mermaids swam to the surface. Not just any mermaids, though. These were Celtic mermaids, from ancient Irish civilizations. I could tell from their appearance-long, blonde or red hair, blue or green eyes, red or orange tails, and (not to be that guy) but overall kind of... sexy. Yeah I know it's weird. Just roll with it. They were guarding Andie. *sigh* How can I hurt them without hurting Andie?

"HEY MERMAIDS!"

I yelled. They all snapped their heads to look at me. I gulped.

"Want some of THISSSSS?"

I used some of my charm on them. It's not an ability, genius! It comes with the DREW package. Perfect hair, perfect body, amazing smile, beautiful eyes, and the signature Drew charm-irresistible. Actually, somehow, SOMEWAY, Cam, Bryn, Ember, and Noel are immune to my package. I don't know how. Anyway, I turned my attention back from my six pack (perfectly highlighted with my contours by my mission suit) to the mermaids (but it was so hard to look away... oh beautiful six pack...). The mermaids looked unfazed. Well. Except for the little one. She looked only about 9 or 10, and gazed adoringly at me. Her older sister smacked her and she looked longingly at me from a distance. Huh. It's about time someone was bidding for the DREW package. It only costs a marriage ring!

Anyway, I decided to lure them away from Andie by using my Odes. I clearly chose my Ode to DREW Package:

(Sing to America the Beautiful)

"Oh, beautiful, for spacious abs

For amber waves of muscle

For clear blue eyes and bright white smile

ABOVE THE GOLDEN LOCKS!

OH DREW PACKAGE! OH DREW PACKAGE! ANDIE ALWAYS LOVES THEE! AND CROWN THY GOOD WITH MARRIAGEHOOD FROM CONTOUR TO CONTOUR!"

Half of the mermaids screamed of agony, and 75% of them swam back to the depths of their cavern. I frowned. This is not how it usually goes. Let me try the second verse.

*ahem* *gasp*

Another 20% swam away?! Already?! *huff*

"OH BEAUTIFUL STRONG JAW, SWEET VOICE

FOR SPEEDO BUILT BODY

FOR PERFECT NOSE AND SPARKLY TONES

BELOVED GOLDEN LOCKS!

OH DREW PACKAGE! OH DREW PACKAGE! ANDIE ALWAYS LOVES THEE! AND CROWN THY GOOD WITH MARRIAGEHOOD FROM CONTOUR TO CONTOUR!"

And there goes the rest. Dang it! I didn't even get to the best part!

Andie was released from her rope and dropped into dry land. I swam to shore and cried, "ANDIE!!!" She scrambled up and ran towards me. As soon as I reached her, I kissed her passionately. Andie matched me easily, and we stayed like that for a while: my body pressed against hers, kissing. When I reluctantly pulled away, she gazed up at me, and I brushed her hair out of her face.

"I didn't think I'd ever see you again," Andie said, with tears of joy streaming down her face. I silenced her with another kiss. Her lips were soft on mine, creating a weird sensation that swept through my body. We eventually pulled away from each other, disappointed that it ended so quickly. We walked toward the elevator and met the others in the lounge. Andie went to change, and we counted 2 missing. It can't take Sam this long to find and save Bryn-can it?