When Both Our Cars Collide (Frerard)

39: I choose defeat

Frank's POV

"Mikey please come over...he won't get up. I've tried everything, and I'm really at a loss here," I begged, pressing the phone against my ear as I exited the room, not wanting to have Gerard overhear me talking about him.

"I will be there soon, just hang on okay? I don't know if I will be able to get any more results than you have, but worst case we can drag him to the viewing," Mikey responded in a tired tone of voice. I truly felt bad for turning to him for help, but I had no other friends I could ask, especially not in this situation, so Mikey was my only option.

"I don't want to do that to him," I sighed out loudly.

"We may not have a choice Frank; look I have to hang up, Mom is calling, but I will swing by in about an hour."

I didn't get a chance to respond before a short beep went off, letting me know that Mikey had ended the phone call. I groaned loudly, because I didn't want to have to face this alone for another minute - much less an hour, but I had no choice, and I was just going to have to attempt to get Gerard dressed and ready on my own.

I thought he had been getting better; he seemed to have figured out a way to cope with his grandmother's illness, and even though he didn't open up to me very much about how he was truly feeling, he had seemed like his normal self for the most part.

It helped that Elena lived for much longer than the doctors had expected; her diagnosis hadn't been positive after the last round of chemo, but she had fought on for six months more than they had predicted, and Gerard had spent almost every spare moment he had with her during that time.

But the inevitable had happened, as we all knew it would, and of course I was at work when Gerard had gotten the call from his mother, so I wasn't there to help him process the fact that his grandmother had finally passed away, and I had no idea if I had missed out on a crucial opportunity in which I could have prevented him from falling into this state.

When Mikey texted me with the news, I had expected Gerard to already be rushing to the hospital with the rest of his family to say his final goodbyes, but when I had returned home because of Mikey's continued messages that said he couldn't get in contact with his brother, I found Gerard curled up on the kitchen floor with silent tears streaming down his face.

It was only then that I realized that Gerard had been in denial this entire time, and that the reason he was functioning so well previously was that he was pretending like nothing was wrong, and now that Elena was truly gone, his fragile fantasy had shattered into a million pieces, destroying Gerard in the process.

I was determined to piece him back together, no matter how long it took, but I didn't know how to do that when he didn't respond to anything I said or did. I tried everything: from comforting words, to raising my voice, to ignoring him - well pretending to actually, but literally nothing worked.

That had been a week ago, and Gerard had been unresponsive the entire time. He refused to budge out of his bed, he only ate when I forced him to, and no matter how hard I pleaded, he wouldn't speak to anyone: not his mother, not Mikey, not even me.

I hadn't been to work ever since I found him that way, I was too nervous to leave him alone, just in case he tried something, even though he had showed no signs of moving any time soon. Lindsey had hired another worker to help cover my shifts, and she had reassured me that my position would still be available whenever I could return, but I missed the activity that having a job provided already, and as much as I loved Gerard, being cooped up all day with no one but his comatose form for company was taking its toll on me.

Luckily Gerard had graduated from art college already, so that was one less thing I had to worry about, because there was no way I would have been able to get him to go to class - much less actually pay enough attention to pass his exams, but that was literally the only positive thing I could think of right now, everything else had gone to shit.