So I had a dream last night which made me think of this fanfic, and even though I should be working on my other fanfic, I just had to write this out.
It probably isn't very good but eh...I was going to make it a one-shot, but then it got way too long, so it will probably be a very short story.
Basically in this fanfic just ignore Frank and Gerard's age gap. I know they have a bigger one, but I didn't want to make it too creepy lol.
The stars were out and the moon was shedding its cold light into my apartment window. Per my usual insomnia, I was wide awake and bent over my desk, furiously erasing a pencil smudge from my most recent sketch.
It was of him...lately it seemed like all of my sketches were mostly of him - that beautiful boy that I couldn't get out of my head...
People always told me I was crazy...that I needed to move on and put myself out there, but I couldn't - believe me I had tried my hardest to forget him, but it had proved impossible, and I had finally given up.
Mikey had even tried setting me up with his friend Ray; that was a disaster I would rather not think about, and he ended up with Mikey in the end ironically.
It was pathetic actually; I was a twenty-five year old virgin who had never been in a real relationship in his entire life - not counting the one I had with him - all because of that unforgettable boy.
He had seriously messed with my head, even my therapist couldn't fix me. I know - I go to a therapist...lame huh?
But after everything, I didn't want to relapse into all of the bad habits that I had kicked because of him - well everything except smoking, I couldn't seem to stay away from those tempting little death sticks - so I continued to see a shrink, even after I wasn't forced to do so.
At first - I hadn't mentioned him to my therapist; I mean - it wasn't something I really wanted a complete stranger to know about me, but in the end, it kind of just came pouring out, and it felt so good to have someone to talk to about him - even Mikey had started to get tired of my constant moping, and honestly - I didn't blame him.
But it wasn't my fault if that boy consumed my thoughts - he was unforgettable, and time had done nothing to lessen the impact he had made on my life. My therapist had tried everything he could think of to get me to realize that he was a part of my past, and I had to look toward the future, but he finally accepted that he would have better luck teaching me not to breathe.
Now that the offending pencil smudge had disappeared off my paper, I returned to my sketch in earnest. I was trying to capture his eyes just right, I had to do him justice after all.
I was attempting something new, and drawing him how I imagined he would look like now, instead of how I remembered him, and I was very pleased with the results.
My sketches of him plastered the walls of my otherwise bland apartment. I needed to see his face every day to make sure I wouldn't forget one perfect detail about him. It was as if I had replaced all my former addictions with him - he was my new addiction.
After a few more pencil strokes, I leaned back and sighed in satisfaction. My newest sketch had to be my best so far, his dark eyes stared up at me, and a small smile graced his beautiful lips.
I gently blew away a few stray eraser shavings as I admired my work; I would hang this one in the living room, it was special enough to escape the confines of my cluttered bedroom and stand proudly amongst some of my better pieces of art.
What I wouldn't give to have the real thing in front of me. It was killing me not knowing what had happened to him...was he happy...had he found love...but most of all - did he ever think of me?
How long had it been since I had seen him...eight years? Time seemed to have passed quickly, and at the same moment, not at all. If I closed my eyes, I was transported back to that period of my life as if it were only yesterday - when we had been so innocent and carefree....
Okay so this is just the prologue (obviously) but I am working on the first chapter right now, and I should have it up either tonight or tomorrow :)
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