My brothers best friend

Chapter 18: In pain

I was feeling terrible. It was raining outside and I really wasn't feeling well. 

I sat on the window ledge as I watched the rain fall onto the ground while listening to the quiet music that was coming from my speakers. 

It's been almost two weeks since i've seen Alex, Matt, Nick and Jamie.I really missed them so much but they were too busy with working on their music. 

I haven't stopped thinking about Alex once and it was really exhausting. All I wanted was to look into his warm, dark eyes and hear his voice again. I wonder if he also was thinking of me... he was probably with Ava anyways.

I had texted with Matt and Jamie a few times over the last few days but I haven't heard anything of Alex in a while and I really was wondering how he was doing.

I haven't been doing well recently. My two best friend Lizzy and Lucas had confessed me that they were officially dating, which meant that they were constantly hanging out together.. without me. They had asked me a few times if I want to hang out with them but I just really didn't like being the third wheel and seeing my two best friends make out with each other was also still too weird and new for me.

That means that I've been locked up in my rooms for two weeks now and barely went outside. My mom and dad tried to get me out of the house multiple times but I just really didn't had the energy to.

I was just feeling so lonely and empty for some reason. It hurt me how easily it was to just leave me behind. I just really didn't know what to do anymore. I just wanted to see Alex.

I looked at my clock. It was currently 7PM. 

I let out a long and heavy sigh.

It was like I was waiting for something but I just didn't know what. The nights have been also very tough. I couldn't sleep at nights because of all the thoughts that were buzzing in my head. It was exhausting and I was exhausted. I just couldn't get Alex out of my head. I really needed him and my best friends.

I slowly lifted from the window ledge and layed down on my bed.

It was summer. I should be having fun right now. Have crazy sleepovers with my friends and just live my life but instead I was alone in my bedroom and thinking about Alex. 

Thinking about him made me just so upset. I had this heavy feeling in my chest that was so painful and hard to ignore. I just needed something to fill this void inside me.

I heard a soft nock on my door. I closed my eyes as I exhaled.

"Yes?"

I heard someone open the door and I lifted my head a little to see who it was.

"Do you want to go and get some coffee together sweetheart?" It was my mom. 

I let out a little sight as I sat up.

"Alright.."

I made my way to the door and we both headed downstairs and outside.

My mom gave me a sad smile as she opened the car door for me. The car was cozy and it smelled like my childhood.

It was still raining outside but a little less now. I loved the rain. It was a really peaceful thing. But the smell after it rained was still my most favorite thing ever.

The drive to the coffee shop wasn't long and I decided to wait in the car till my mom got our drinks. 

I sighed as I leaned back. I decided to close my eyes and rest them a little bit. My thoughts went to Alex once again. I wondered what he was doing right now.