Pain - A TommyInnit Angst

Chapter 22

A/N: Again, this chapter is kinda graphic, so please skip over it if you're not comfortable!

As promised, Wilbur brought Niki with him to visit the next day. It was comforting to talk to her, especially as she could relate to what Tommy was going through, especially the difficulties with eating.

The days dragged on, but Tommy could feel himself slowly improving, and the day finally came when he was discharged from the hospital.

Walking through the door of Wilbur's house, he felt a wave of anxiety wash over him as he remembered the last time he had been here.

It hadn't been a spur-of-the-moment decision. It was planned. Calculated.

Tommy had thought about everything; he had practically studied Wilbur's behaviour throughout the day so he could work out what time he would be most likely to leave him alone.

Tommy thought about leaving a note, but in his crumbling state of mind he didn't know what to say.

So he walked into the bathroom and began running the water, staring at himself in the mirror; he didn't recognise the boy that stared back. He was thin, almost skeletal, and despite the fact that he spent all day sleeping, he had dark purple eye bags. He looked as if he were already dead.

He took his hoodie off, leaving him in just his t-shirt and jeans, and climbed into the almost-full bathtub. It was time.

Without hesitating, he grabbed the razor that he had hidden for weeks as he planned this moment.

Cut.

He winced as he made the first wound, his heart beginning to pound as red liquid poured from his wrist. Too late to turn back now.

Cut.

Tommy dropped the razor onto the side of the bathtub and lay back, eyes wide, praying that it would be quick. He raised his hand to try and stifle the whimpers of agony coming from his mouth, but just ended up getting blood on his face; so he placed his hand back in the bath, closed his eyes and began to concentrate on his breathing, trying to calm down as much as possible given the circumstances.

His mind went cloudy, and he thought he heard a muffled voice, but knew he must be imagining things.

He was dying.

Was he almost dead?

Was he already dead?

'Toms?'

Tommy jumped slightly.

'You okay? You zoned out for a second there.' Wilbur looked concerned.

'Yeah, I'm okay. Just thinking about... you know.'

'Oh, Toms...' Wilbur wrapped his arms around Tommy, encasing him in a tight hug.

'Do you want to talk about it?'

'Nah, I just... I don't know, it just feels weird being back here, you know?'

'Yeah, I understand. Toms, I don't wanna invade on your privacy, but I need to know if you have anything hidden that you could hurt yourself with?'

'No, but if I find anything, I'll give it to you.' Tommy replied.

'Promise?'

'Promise.'

• • •

(A/N: I legit know nothing about court cases or legal stuff, so sorry but this is gonna be completely inaccurate lol)

The court case was drawing ever closer; it was now only two weeks away, and Tommy's anxiety was at an all-time high. Today was the first time he was going to meet with the lawyer Wilbur had hired for the case; luckily, Wilbur had arranged for the lawyer to come to his house for the meeting, due to Tommy's ever-increasing agoraphobia. He was so nervous that his stomach felt as if it had turned inside out; he felt like he was going to throw up. Wilbur had noticed, and was adamant that he would stay with him throughout the meeting, unless Tommy specifically asked him to leave.

• • •

'Good morning, Thomas. My name is Jane. We're just going to be running through some things about the court case. Is that okay?'

Tommy nodded, trying to return Jane's smile, but failing as his nerves overtook him.

'He's very nervous.' Wilbur explained, gripping Tommy's hand and giving it a comforting squeeze.

'That's completely understandable.' Jane said. She opened her briefcase and took out a pile of notes, placing them on the table. She looked up at Tommy. 'I'm assuming you know that you'll be expected to testify in court?'

'Yeah, I know.'

'So, I believe that the main argument of the defence will be that all of your wounds are self-inflicted. Our team has extensively examined the photographs of the scars on your back, and we have determined that it would be impossible for you to inflict such injuries on yourself.' Tommy had begun anxiously biting his nails, nodding at Jane as she reeled off the information in front of her. 'We are confident that this case is a certain win, but you need to be absolutely clear on your story for how all of your injuries happened, okay Thomas?'

Tommy frowned. 'I haven't made anything up, I know how they happened.' He blurted out.

'Don't worry, we know you haven't lied about anything. It's just important that you practice talking about something like this, because it can be very difficult to tell a story of something traumatic with complete accuracy.'

'O-okay.' Tommy stuttered. He reached out and grabbed Wilbur's hand, gripping tightly onto it. Jane continued to talk.

'Would you be okay with telling me about how some of your injuries happened? It's always good to have some practice so you know what you're going to say, because I understand that it will be very difficult for you.'

He nodded, swallowing. 'Uh, yeah, I can try.'

'Do you want to start with the wounds on your back? Those are the ones we are going to try and keep the focus towards.'

'Uh, okay. So... uh, every Wednesday, my p-parents would weigh me, a-and they would have targets set.' He began to breathe faster, but he was determined to continue. 'A-and most of the time I couldn't reach the targets, s-so they... they hurt me.' He took a deep breath. 'The last time, my father held me down a-and... he, uh, strangled me w-while my mother c-carved into my b-back.' Tommy could feel his lip quivering, and tears threatening to leave his eyes.

'Thank you, Thomas. That's a great start. In court they'll ask you some more specific questions, so keep that in mind.'

Tommy nodded, and Jane continued talking about more legal processes that he didn't understand, so he zoned out.

Two weeks to go.

Two weeks until he saw his parents.

Two weeks until he would have to talk about what they did to him, in front of them.