Battle Scars (bxb)

Chapter 5 - Zoned badly

"Ok I found this old one by Dolly Parton, do you know it already?" Sawyer asked, as he returned to me, while I had been standing around the store, thinking about what he had said. He called me his friend. I was happy. That meant that he didn't hate me, that he liked me... oh my god, Sawyer liked me. Being somebody's friend was a noble title for me. It meant that people considered me equal, that they liked having me around. I liked being somebody's friend, if I liked them as well of course. So I wasn't mad about the title. But it also stressed me out. 

I was his friend... nothing more. I mean it was logical, we didn't know each other very well, of course he couldn't have... f-fallen for me, if that would ever be possible, but that he didn't consider me in any kind of romantic way... it stung a little, I have to say. And I was ashamed for feeling that way. I should only be happy about the title of being Sawyer's friend, but here I was, having these greedy ugly feelings. And so I started analyzing his words in the hope to calm them down. Was there any way, that he didn't mean it that way? That there was still a chance? 

Maybe he had meant that he was happy to have me as a friend for now! Like, he liked that we had this level of closeness and that we could explore it and maybe, if feelings would start to develop, we would be able to maybe take it to another level. Or maybe he was happy to have me as a friend. Like... me. Like, he said that he liked me, a normal amount for the times we had hung out, but maybe there was a certain interest there. Or maybe I was just really overthinking it and he had meant nothing more and I should rather be overthinking if he actually meant that he liked me, as a friend at all or if he was just trying to be nice to me, because I was a customer in his store, who gave good tips. Oh boy... I should just settle on the middle ground: He meant what he had said and nothing more or less. 

"Uhm n-no I don't think so" I smiled, looking at the vinyl. 'Because I have only ever listened to Dolly Parton when I had to buy that record the other day' I added in my mind. I was looking at the vinyl and then at Sawyer, who looked really excited. "Ok, do you wanna listen to it together? It's really slow right now and around this time, not many people will come in anyway, so we can listen to it if you want to" Sawyer said and I gulped. I mean, Dolly Parton was alright. I liked the record I had, because I bought it from my mate, but I didn't need to listen to another album of her. But Sawyer wanted to and so I nodded "Tha-at would be a-amazing, yes, please." 

Sawyer smiled, before he nudged his head, saying "Follow me then", with a smile on his lips. I was blushing so hard, I knew that, but I couldn't help it. His smile, oh my god his smile... it was to die for. I nodded and Sawyer lead the way to the side of the store, where they had small rooms, where you could listen to records with headphones, seeing if you liked them. These were mostly second hand vinyls, that was why that was allowed here. He opened the door for me and said "After you sir" like a gentleman and I just about died. Oh god, oh lord. "T-Thank y-you" I stuttered and Sawyer chuckled, as he watched me walk in and then got in as well. The doors were made out of glass, but the walls were plastered in red and black fabric, so the sound would be better and stay inside. 

"Ok I'm gonna hook it up and- oh no we don't need the headphones, it's fine, again, there is nobody in the store anyway and I will see if somebody walks in. That way we can still talk, is that ok for you?" he asked and the fact that he cared about if I felt comfortable or not made me blush again. He wanted to talk to me? He didn't want to just listen to music and have me shut up, no, he wanted to... to hang out? With me? That was an honor... and it was also nerve wrecking. Now I had to try and not mess this up for one whole album, oh my god...

"Y-Yes that sounds great" I nodded and Sawyer looked happy. He got the vinyl out of the case and put in on the record player, that was hooked to some speakers and he turned it on, letting the record turn around a few times, before he put the needle carefully down onto the vinyl. He adjusted the volume when the first sounds of Dolly Parton came out of the speakers and then he leaned back, smiling.