Insecurities

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ONE MONTH LATER

Denki was hurt.

He'd enjoyed the date immensely. That wasn't the issue.

He was feeling incredibly self-conscious about his body.

Denki had spent the entire time dropping hints to Shinsou, trying to hook the alpha in and finally get the alpha to at least, maybe, let the blonde suck him off.

But no.

Once their date came to a comfortable close at about 10 PM, Shinsou dropped Denki off at Mina's house and the two shared a chaste kiss that quickly heated on the doorstep. The blonde tried inviting his boyfriend in, with the entirely clear intent of taking it to the bedroom.

Shinsou declined the invitation.

Denki looked at himself in the bathroom mirror. He didn't want to push Shinsou. That would be rude and, in a word, rape. But he didn't know, much less understand, why Shinsou kept rejecting his advances. On top of all that, Kaminari was ashamed to realize that he was starting to take it personally. He felt pathetic.

The omega undressed, still looking at his reflection. He poked his soft stomach. Was it that? Maybe he was too fat. Maybe he really did look like a beached blobfish. Shit, did he need to lose weight? He stepped onto the scale sitting next to the shower, measuring himself. 145 pounds. Was that too much? He remembered some website saying that a boy of his height was supposed to have a weight of around 140 pounds. Maybe that was it. But...

Denki brushed his fingers over his face. The tan skin was relatively clear- his acne tended to clear up before and after his heat due to some hormonal thing or the other- but maybe it was worse than he thought. Or maybe he was just unattractive. Denki brushed his cheeks. Maybe it was because of how clean-shaven he was? He'd never been able to grow facial hair, it was an omega thing. Maybe Shinsou liked guys that were more manly? Maybe Shinsou was straight! Oh God, what if he'd only asked Denki out because the omega looked desperate? The questions didn't even sound rational in his head anymore, but Denki needed some reason, any reason, that Shinsou didn't seem to want him.

Denki felt his eyes begin to well with tears, and he crumpled against the wall. He'd thought- he'd let himself think that maybe, just maybe, Shinsou was his fated mate. He didn't know what a soulmate was like, only knew what he'd heard from others talking about their mates. Izuku could go on for hours about Shouto, and whenever Shouto got angry enough to show emotion, he tended to go on hour-long rants about how every employee should be just as perfect as his mate at everything until Izuku managed to calm him down. It was clear that the pair each believed the other hung the moon. Denki wanted that. Yeah, there were always soft feelings involved, but Denki saw carnal desire every time Kirishima and Bakugou looked at each other or the Todorokis shared a glance. He'd even seen it between his parents, and his parents had initially married each other for money until they realized that they were actually fated.

He'd thought he felt all that with Shinsou. Maybe Shinsou just didn't feel the same way.

There was a knock on the door. "Cover your bits, I'm coming in!" Mina called through it with a giggle, probably ready to hear all the details. Kaminari pulled on a pair of sweatpants and a loose shirt so there was barely any definition of his body visible, then unlocked the door. "Yeah," he replied, loudly enough for Mina to hear him.

The pink-haired beta opened the bathroom door with Tabby in her arms and a bright smile on her face. When she saw Denki, her face darkened. "What the hell did he do to you."

She immediately began to fuss over Denki, taking his temperature and digging a male pregnancy test out of a cabinet (she'd bought them as a gift when Denki and Hitoshi initially got together).

Denki waved her off. The tears that he'd held in before were finally streaming down his face. "He doesn't-" he sucked in a shallow breath as Mina hugged him to her. "He doesn't want me, Mina."

Mina released a growl that was obviously directed at Shinsou, then hushed herself a bit. "Poor baby," she soothed, hugging Denki closer. "Why do you think that?" She moved them forward and back, letting Denki rock himself a little bit.

"He says all these things about my body- nice things-" Denki specified when Mina nearly stood up, about to beat Shinsou within an inch of his life. "And he touches me and he kisses me, but- he doesn't- he doesn't even put his hands under my shirt when we kiss."

"Not even a little bit?" Mina was clearly confused.

"Not even by accident." Denki confirmed, breath hitching. His hair had been taken out of his braid, so the jaw-length blond locks fell into his face. Mina tucked it all into a ponytail gently.

"Well," Mina started. "It kinda- it kinda sounds like he's doing it on purpose, but-" Denki cried harder. "But maybe it's not for the reasons you think. Have you talked to him about it?"

The blonde shook his head, face in his hands. "I don't- I don't know if I want to have that conversation." Mina rested her head on her best friend's hair.

"You don't have to do anything if you're not ready, love," she nuzzled into his hair, huffing a warm, calming breath onto his scalp.

Denks nodded limply, nestling into Mina. "Suffocate me with your boobs and let me dieeeeeeee," he whimpered. "It's a great way to go, peacefully and quietly and with a loved one by your side."

Ashido laughed. "And that's how I know you're feeling better. Ice cream and binge-watching Psych?"

Denki nodded again, pulling himself up using the counter. "You know that's right."

He'd have that talk. Eventually.


--

a/n

lmao i'm terrible to you guys

today is a double update, beauties!

(to make up for the fact that i haven't posted for four weeks even tho it's usually just two)

mandatory insecurity chapter! don't get too pissed at shinsou <3

if you genuinely got the psych reference shoot me a dm ;)

love you,

-gale

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