Hard To Love (a Josh Hutcherson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 15

Song of the Chapter: Stars by Grace Potter & The Nocturnals

 Stella's POV 

Just shut your eyes Stella. Its not that hard. Ok 1..2...3.. sleep.... Nope not happening. 

Too many things are on my mind to sleep. Too many emotions are flooding and disecting my brain. I creep out of the living room and I walk out of the front door and walk down the street. I hear an occasional yell or laugh from a party every now and then, but other than that, the world is still. I find a playground in the townhouse complex and I climb to the very top and lay and look at the clear night sky. Josh told me that he always found me outside at night, and I guess its true because I always am. The vast eternity of the stars stretching across the sky above me makes me feel alone, but yet it also has comforted me. Knowing that there is so much out there to discover. 

I can feel the muscles in my face begin to strain as I try to hold back the frown attempting to sweep across my face. No I can't cry. I have to be strong. I cover my face with my palms and take a deep, shakey breath, then I feel my phone buzz. 

Josh: Stella, I don't know where you are, but please just tell me you are okay

Me: I'm okay...

Josh: Where are you

I don't reply, but I let the tears flood my eyes. I knew this would happen. I knew he would call or text me or something and all the emotions I feel for him would be forced back into my heart. I want to go back, no you don't. I think I love him, Love is a joke. I am at a constant battle between my heart and my brain, and I don't know which one to listen to. 

"it's a good place to think, isn't it?" I jump as I look down to see who it is that walked up on me. 

Nolan. 

"Fuck you scared me." I say and wipe the tears from my eyes, trying to make it seem like I wasn't crying, "Why aren't you asleep?" 

"Well, there is a stranger sleeping in my house, and I still don't know if you're some kind of muderer or rapist yet, so I figured sleep wasn't a safe idea tonight." he says laughing as he climbs up the playground and sits beside me. 

"well I can promise you i'm none of that." I smile slightly. "but isn't it like 3 am?" 

"Yeah, well you're out here too, aren't you? I actually come here a lot. But only when I'm upset.. Are you okay?" 

"I'd be lying if I told you yes, and a lie is never a good first impression." I look back up at the stars.

He sighs, "Did you know that there are more stars in the sky than there is grains of sand on the Earth?" he babbles out. 

I laugh, "what the hell.." I laugh again, "but to answer your question, no I did not know that." I look over at him.

"Sorry, I ramble when I'm nervous."

"You're a good kid aren't you?" I squint my eyes. 

"I guess you could say that. I guess I never got to be a normal teenager." he says and looks into my eyes. 

I look away, "Why's that?" 

"I've always taken care of my mom. Whenever Avery's dad walked out on us, I had to step into the 'man of the house' position. Parties and shit never were a priority, much less a thought for me." 

I nod my head, "I can't say I understand because I obviously don't, but that sucks." 

"Not really. Nothing in the world means more to me than my mom and my sister. But enough about me, what's your story?" he lays on his back and gazes at the sky. I do the same.