Hard To Love (a Josh Hutcherson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 38

Song of the chapter: Safe by Westlife

Josh's POV

It must be something in the hospital air that makes me feel the need to pace. Because everytime I am here, for whatever reason, I find myself pacing uncontrollably. 

Everyone is here to support Stella and me. Mom, dad, Connor, Andre, Jen, and a couple others, all of us being kept on our toes ever since they took Stella back to the delivery room. No visitors are allowed back due to the prematurity of the baby, and nothing can calm my nerves. 

It seems as if the minute hand on the clock is frozen solid. Not moving at all. I feel like I have been waiting for hours, but in reality, it has only been maybe 45 minutes. We weren't expecting the baby until August. There are so many things that we don't have planned and situated yet, but I don't know how I didn't see this coming. Everything that has to do with Stella and I's relationship has been thrown at us at unexpected times, this is evidently no different. 

I want to be back there holding her hand every step of the way. I want to see my baby girl come into this cruel world as a beautiful little fool, just so I know that I can keep her safe. I want to introduce her to all the things that she'll live with for the rest of her life, and all the things she will dream about. And that moment couldn't come any slower. 

"I know this whole hospital thing never gets easier for you, but you still have to eat. Here, sit." mom says as she hands me a granola bar and a bottle of orange juice. 

I sit and eat the granola bar with my mom sitting beside me with her hands crossed on her lap. 

"Mom, you okay?" I ask. 

"I'm just fine, son." 

I nod and look down at the tiles on the ground and begin to count them. 

"Josh?" She says suddenly. 

"Hm?" 

She faintly smiles then lets out a shaky breath, "I am so proud of you. You and Stella both, actually." 

I smile and swallow back a wave of emotion. 

"I mean that with the most sincereity, Josh. You guys have made it through hell and back. You helped Stella grow into what she is today, and she helped you find your way back to yourself. And now you two are bringing my first beautiful little grandbaby into this world, and-" she chokes down a sob, "And I am just so proud of you." She leans into me and wraps her arms around my shoulders. 

"Thank you mom." I say, returning the hug, too nervous to feel any other emotion right now other than anxiousness. 

The swinging doors that lead back to the labor and delivery center suddenly fly open and everyone in the waiting room turns their head up to look at the short nurse standing in the doorway, "Mr. Hutcherson?" 

"Yes?" I say, my voice full of hope. 

She smiles, "You can follow me." 

I stand from my seat and slowly walk across the lobby and follow the nurse through the doors. I don't know what to expect, but whatever is waiting for me beyond these doors is going to determine the rest of my life. I take in a deep breath and the nurse looks at me and laughs. 

"Nervous?" she asks. 

"Just a tad," I manage a soft smile. 

We stop in front of a giant glass window that shows a room full of cribs and pink and blue blankets. 

"There's nothing to be nervous about. Third one from the left. She's all yours." She turns to me, smiles, and gently shoves me closer to the glass, "Well have a look at her why don't you?" She laughs softly.