Hard To Love (a Josh Hutcherson Fan Fiction)

Chapter 37

Song of the Chapter: Turning Page by Sleeping At Last 

Stella's POV 

I walk back into the building and head straight for the bathroom, avoiding everyone on the way. I just need a breather and a moment to myself. I shove a chair in front of the door and stumble to the counter.

I look into the mirror and wipe away the smudges of mascara that remain underneath my eyes and take a deep breath. I had come to terms with the fact that Ryder didn't want to be in my life anymore, but then, out of the blue, he turns up thinking that things could change in his favor. I can't comprehend why now, of all times, when I am about to get married and have a baby with the one I am completely happy with, he would think everything would be okay if he confessed his love for me. Because it isn't. 

I love Ryder, but not in the way he loves me, and I hate that it has to be like this. 

Once I regain my composure, I make my way back out into the crowd. The sun has set completely now and the dance floor is alive with kids and couples dancing to the beat of the song. I search the crowd for Josh and I find him doing a little swing dance with Avery in the middle of the floor. 

He picks her up and spins her around, causing a smile as wide as her mouth can go to sweep across her face. I laugh to myself and continue to watch their little rountine. 

"How you doing?" Corie says behind me. 

I jump and spin around, "Oh my gosh you just scared the crap out of me." I laugh, "I'm alright, great actually." 

She smiles, "He's quite the dancer isn't he?" 

"I'll say." I look back to Avery and Josh and smile. 

"What about Ryder?" 

I shake my head, "I don't know Corie. I handled it the best way that I could." 

"Well you did all that you could. But what's an engagement party without a little drama, right?" she nudges me with her elbow. 

"I guess so." I try to stifle a laugh. I have lost a lot of things from my past. Some were needed to be lost, while others I could have held on to. But I guess I don't know what I need and some higher power does know what I need. He is in control of that, not me. And slowly but surely, I am realizing that. Ryder was a big part of my life, but somethings I am better off letting go of. 

Josh and Avery walk towards me, both smiling. Once they reach me, Avery puts her hand in front of me and asks, "May we have this dance?" 

"Well of course you may!" I reply and take Josh's hand in one, and Avery's in the other as we walk to the dance floor full of people. 

I don't know whether or not Ryder and I will every cross paths again. But it's time for me to turn the page and start writing a new chapter rather than reread the previous ones. Some stories will be left behind as memories, and more stories will be written, I just have to pick back up my own pen. 

-six months later, June 23, 2016-

Josh's POV

The life is dissipating from Stella's eyes.

Some days she seems like Stella, but then others she seems distant. Far off in a world that is entirely her own that no one, not even me, can enter. 

When she needs it, I hold her and tell her everything is going to be okay, and she agrees but then mumbles how she 'just wants it to be over.' Which I don't blame her, because so do I. She is sick more than she is well, and is lonely when I have to work. I wish I could stay with her all the time, but she won't let me. She tells me that she knows I love my job and that I can't waste time sitting at home while I could be doing what I love. What she doesn't realize is that I love her more than anything in the world, but I have learned over the years that arguing with her is pointless because she knows just when to stand her ground and how to do it.