idiot
I hate you
I am going to murder you
Bone Man
what did I do
I'm out of white paint
Bone Man
and how the heck is that my fault??
IT JUST IS OKAY
ITS UR FAULT BECAUSE YOU ARE THE BANE OF MY EXISTENCE SO YOU MUST BE DOING THIS TO SPITE ME
Bone Man
why do you even need white paint
just like. don't paint in the spots that need to be white
Im going to actually murder you
like if I could I would literally track you down and beat you over the head with a canvas
Bone Man
do it
my roommate went back to Texas for a month to see his family so I haven't had human interaction in forever
honestly if a murderer showed up at my door rn I would welcome them with open arms
omw
Bone Man
REALLY???
no you idiot
we literally have been texting each other for like a week
and I don't even know what you look like
OR your name
god you really must be desperate for human interaction
normally I'm the one that's desperate just. in general
Bone Man
dude you have no idea
I accidentally said "thank you" to my toothbrush after brushing my teeth this morning
I'm losing it
well at least you were polite
also
here's an idea
maybe
just maybe
go outside
Bone Man
I do idiot
I went out in my backyard like a few hours ago
made friends with a caterpillar
touched grass
fun times
then I went inside bc I was so hot that my sweat stains were like five inches in diameter
because it's Florida
I didn't mean go freaking camp in your backyard like a caveman
go to like a cafe and talk to people
go on a walk
join a freaking embroidery club
something idk man just socialize
Bone Man
I would
but I kind of can't
why??
are u a vampire or something??
have I been talking to a vampire this whole time
wait that would actually be so hot
please tell me you're a vampire I've always wanted to date one
Bone Man
we're not dating tho?
yet
;)
Bone Man
uh
thatwasajoke
thatwasajokethatwasajokethatwasajoke
unless you're a vampire...
Bone Man
IM NOT A VAMPIRE
instead
I'm a youtuber
ok??
I knew that
why does that mean you can't go outside
has YouTube headquarters trapped you in your home
do I need to come save you bone man
Bone Man
lol nooooooo
I'm a faceless youtuber and streamer
so I try to keep socializing with random people on the street to a minimum in case someone recognizes my voice
come on bone man
don't flatter yourself
you can't be THAT big that random people on the street will recognize you
Bone Man
I
you needn't lie to impress me, bone man
I'll be just as impressed with your narcoleptic, vampire self
Bone Man
I
ok
ok then
YOU ARE READING
hotline - dreamwastaken x reader
Fanfictionsleepless nights, puppy love, tear-stained faces, conflicting feelings, late night phone calls, how did all of this stem from a single, impulsive decision to text a stranger? WHERE Ray McCoy's boredom and impulsive decision to text her "number neigh...
