hotline - dreamwastaken x reader

15-planning

Bone Man
it's so humid outside dear lord
I just went out for like thirty seconds and my skin is so sticky
anyways what are you doing

shh
I'm listening to ricky montgomery and crying

Bone Man
why?
what's wrong??
u okay?

STOP BEING SO CARING FOR ONE MINUTE BONE MAN
it's just my weekly cry sesh
do guys not have those

Bone Man
not really?
at least I don't

OH BABY I AM A WRECK WHEN IM WITHOUT YOU

Bone Man
...baby?

I NEED YOU HERE TO STAYYYY

Bone Man
OH
song lyrics
okay

SHUT UP THIS IS MY FAVORITE PART

Bone Man
Im not making any noise??

dang it the song is over
okay cry sesh over for now
time to dance
cry sessions are nice you should really try it sometime

Bone Man
why would I want to MAKE myself cry

because bone man
sometimes I just need to feel sad
because I tend to bottle up my emotions and get so emotionally constipated I can't feel anything

Bone Man
that doesn't sound healthy??

okay well doing ecstasy isn't exactly healthy either but plenty of people do that
which will it be bone man.
hard drugs or unhealthy coping mechanisms.
is ecstasy even a hard drug
what constitutes a hard drug
are all the other drugs soft drugs
like if you pet them will it be all fluffy and fuzzy and stuff

Bone Man
are you ON drugs right now?

no no no
don't mind me bone man
sorry I tend to get a bit weird and overshare after my cry sessions

Bone Man
it's fine
but you should really stop bottling up your emotions

ok dad

Bone Man
don't
don't call me dad

would you rather it be daddy ;)

Bone Man
no actually
no I don't think I would rather it be that

well I can't call you your real name
what'll it be bone man
"bone man" is getting a bit crusty

Bone Man
sir

I absolutely am not calling you sir
I'd rather eat my own foot

Bone Man
ew feet
u got a foot fetish or smth???

literally never imply that again.
I despise feet
I wear socks around my own apartment just so I don't have to see my feet

Bone Man
even when you sleep?

YES
even when I sleep
I can't stand feet
if I woke up every day and the first thing I saw was my own feet I'd gouge out my eyeballs

Bone Man
well at least no monsters can get you at night
bc they wont be able to grab your feet

every monster within fifty feet of me would be scared away by how loudly my roommate snores
do socks even deter monsters??
or would it just add more flavor

Bone Man
I can assure you socks do deter monsters
Monsters Inc taught me that

god I haven't seen that movie in forever

Bone Man
really?
well we should watch it together

what
like
now?

Bone Man
no silly
whenever you want to
whenever you're free
only if you want to of course

duh I want to
it makes procrastinating on my assignments a lot more entertaining

Bone Man
cool :)

how would we do it though

Bone Man
umm there's this like Netflix party thing
I'll send you the link to download
do you have discord?

bone man I am an art student that spends her free time researching reptiles and occasionally getting wasted and licking poles outside
not some egirl discord kitten

Bone Man
well if you get an account we can talk to each other during the movie

sigh
fineeee 🙄
if you insist
anytime sunday would be the best time for me probably

Bone Man
that's good with me

good
if it wasn't I would've had to reschedule my roommate doing weird special effects makeup on me for hours on end
which honestly it would've been a good idea to bail on that but

Bone Man
see you on sunday then

see ya bone man