The Girl In The City Of Hinterland

KABANATA 1

Kabanata 1.

I was seven years old when I started to question every single thing. Every little things I found questionable, strange and mysterious. I was that kind of kid. Not a smart one but a nosy one.

"Mommy, why is she sitting in that kind of chair?" I asked my mom. I looked at her. My mother's eyes are fixated on the thing she's holding.

We're at the gorcery store at that time. My mom looked at me, annoyed.

"Because she can't walk." She answered like it was an obvious thing that I should already know.

I always asked my mom different things I want to know. She always looked annoyed for some reason.

When I turned 15, I asked my mom about my father's whereabouts. She looked irritated and scary at that time. It's obvious that I asked something I shouldn't have. It was wrong of me but I was curious.

I didn't stop asking my mom about my father. I really want to know him. However, she can't answer me or she doesn't want to.

I was still a nosy and close-minded kid at that time. Immature as hell and can easily be bothered by the smallest things. I was like that.

I even asked my neighbors about my father because there are possibilities that they might see him or they already did. I did not know at that time that my mother move in in our house alone and pregnant.

Little did I know, I caused a huge mistake. Rumors spread in our neighborhood like wild fire.

"Mom, are you really a victim of rape?" I asked my mom when I heard the rumors.

She was shocked and surprised by my question. I already knew the answer when I saw a tear fell out from her eyes. Her expression turned into anger and disgust while looking at me.

She raised me alone. I love her.

"You are a great mother." I gave my mom an embrace. She was really a great mother.

Most of the time, I could feel the the gap between us. A wall that she built between me and her. But still, I love her. She's my only family.

However, she can't handle the rumors around us. Before she committed suicide. She told me how weak minded she was that's why she run away. She told me the story of her life.

I blame myself for her death. It was unavoidable thing for a person like me.

From that moment. I really became a different person. I was put in an orphanage because I was still a minor that time.

"She will be joining us from now own. A new member of our family. Treat her well and ....."

I just stared at the kids blankly until the sounds around me faded away. They were talking and smiling wildly but it was unaudible.

"Now." The sister next to me clapped her hands which pulled my soul back into reality.

4 years passed and I escaped from being a minor but I was still living in the orphanage. Isolated from everyone. I was deemed introvert because of my strange behavior. I always misses my mother. Everytime and everyday.

One fine morning, a man visited me saying that he was my dad. The only one thing that I felt that day was rage. I was in rage. I can feel my bloodlust because of so much anger from the shameless man who raped my mother. I refused to accept him as my father.

"Sa totoo lang hindi ko gustong makilala ka." Pagsasabi ko ng totoo sa matandang lalaking nasa harapan ko.

"I don't want to live with you. Who knows what's in your mind. In my eyes, you are nothing but a rapist who destroyed my mother's life," matapang ko pang usal dito.