Easy Silence

17.

Being a surgeon was stupid.

She wasn't even sure why she had decided to become a surgeon. She was pretty sure it was something to do with her mom but there were lots of other things she should have been. Like a kindergarten teacher, not that she liked the idea of being surrounded by little kids. Or a chef, if she could actually cook. Being a surgeon was just stupid. Anything that left her this exhausted.

She couldn't even find a bed. She was on call all night and she couldn't find anywhere to collapse until her pager went off again.

"Move over."

"Mer?" the man in the bed groaned.

"Yeah, it's me," she sighed. "Move over."

"It's two in the morning," he grumbled, gingerly reaching over to flip on his bed side light. "What are you doing here?"

Meredith smiled despite herself at the sight in front of her. His blue eyes looked less bright in the dim late, slightly clouded by the sleep she had just woke him up from. His dark curls, that even when he was laying in a hospital bed managed to look perfect, were splayed over his head, going every direction and she fought the urge to run her fingers through it. He managed to look good even in the middle of the night.

"I'm on call all night," Meredith sighed. "And all the on call rooms are taken. I don't have surgery and I'm tired...I'm really tired and you...you have a bed so you should...share it. Sharing would be good."

"You want to share my bed?" Derek asked.

"Yes," she nodded and then rolled her eyes. "Not...not like that. Hospital and...I don't want you to sleep with you and no. But we're friends or something, we're friends and you have a bed and I need a bed so you just...move over."

"You're just going to come in here and demand half of my small bed?"

"Yes," Meredith nodded. "It's two in the morning. Do you really want to fight about this right now?"

"I don't want to fight about this at all," he smiled, moving toward one side. "Get in."

"Thanks," Meredith sighed, climbing in beside him, laying on her back, letting her arm brush up against his. "This is the most uncomfortable bed ever."

"Isn't it?" he laughed.

"How do we make patients sleep in these?"

"You're evil," Derek shrugged as he reached and flipped off the light. "How's your night going?"

"Long," Meredith groaned. "I've been stuck in the pit all night.

"That sounds like hell."

"You have no idea," she giggled softly. "I wish I hadn't become a surgeon. Right now...I wish I was anything but a surgeon."

"You don't mean that."

"Of course I do."

"Mer, you save lives," Derek breathed. "You know how amazing that is? You have the ability to save someone...that to anyone else is beyond saving. You can cut them open and save them, fix them and make...that's completely amazing. That's, it's just something else."

"When you put it like that..."

"It's amazing."

"I'm exhausted all the time, Der," she sighed. "Not tired, actually exhausted. I fell asleep at the movies a couple of days ago."

"Than maybe you should stop talking and get some sleep."

"Maybe," she giggled.

Silence fell over the darkened room as they both shifted uncomfortably, staring at separate spots on the ceiling, trying to get used to two people being in a bed that was clearly made for one. Meredith had no idea what she was doing here. She had been walking to the hallways, trying to think of somewhere to sleep and suddenly she was here in his bed. She had no reason to be in his bed. She had no reason to even be in his room.