Easy Silence

36.

"I just really think that Izzie has feelings for this guy and it's crazy...it's completely crazy and I don't...it's crazy," Meredith sighed, rubbing a wet cloth along the plate in her hand before handing it to her boyfriend. "They have rules about that kind of thing, really really strict rules and he seems nice, I mean he seems kind of great but it's...bad."

"You fell for a patient," Derek shrugged as he dried to the plate off before piling it on the counter beside him. "It happens."

"Derek...you...you were barely a patient."

"But still..."

"No. No, there is no but still here. You were my patient for a few hours and then you weren't my patient at all anymore. So it's...and I didn't fall for you or kiss you when you were my patient..."

"You wanted to kiss me."

"Derek!" Meredith snapped, stopping to look at him. "You know when it's not time to be you? When I'm worried about a friend."

"Sorry, I was just..."

"I know, I know," she sighed. "You were a patient and since I shot you down at the bar, it's technically...I technically fell for a patient. I get what you're saying. And I get the whole you can't control who you fall in love with. I get that, I do. Or now...now I do but it's just...this is bad. This could blow up in her face and he could die or Bailey could find out and it's just...bad. I don't know what to do. I hate not knowing what to do and this is...I don't know what to do."

"Be supportive. Be a friend."

"How do I support something I don't agree with?"

"You...listen. Just listen to her. Don't judge, don't point fingers just...listen. And if the shit hits the fan...stay on her side without being on her side."

"That sounds really...confusing."

"I know but...Mer, right now, just support her or do whatever you think she needs. Don't turn her in, but don't lie for her either. Maybe talk to her, make sure she knows what she's getting into, see where her head is, but mainly...just be there for her. You're good at that."

"Yeah..."

"Maybe spend a lot of time with her this week since I won't be here."

"That would...wait...what?"

"Spend a lot of..."

"No," she frowned. "I got that part. I should spend time with...why won't you be here?"

"I leave tomorrow night for a week long road trip. I told you that already."
"
No you didn't."

"Of course I did."

"No...no," Meredith shook her head, blinking quickly as she felt tears prick her eyes. She was not going to cry about this, she couldn't cry about this. Crying was stupid and she wasn't going to cry. "I'd...I'd remember you telling me because you...you can't be gone this week. I'd remember you saying it because I wouldn't have been happy and I was so you definitely...you definitely didn't tell me. I would...you didn't tell me. You're gone this week and I thought...oh...oh...I actually... I thought..."
"
Mer, this...it's not the first roadtrip."

"I know, it's...it's my birthday on Thursday...which is...I don't exactly know...you're going to miss my birthday."

"Oh..."

"Oh," Meredith groaned, trying to bite her own tongue to stop herself as she backed away from the sink. She shouldn't say anything. She knew she shouldn't. When she had started dating Derek, this had been part of the deal, she had known that he would have to go away, that there would be times he wouldn't be there. The road trip thing was why he had lived with her in the first place, she was supposed to get it. She knew that and she did get it. But getting it didn't make being left alone feel any better. She knew it was lame but Derek never being actually at home was driving her crazy but that was...it was beside the point and she definitely should just shut up. "You're missing my birthday and all you can say is oh."