The Traitor ✓ (Book Six)

Chapter Fifty Eight

This is really happening. Holy shit.

  In the men's bathroom of the small courthouse, I try to stop myself from having a panic attack. Because less than five yards away is Emmy wedding venue , and then ten more down is the woman I will spend the rest of my life with. It all happened so fast..... I didn't have time to process the planning. While her father and the judge were arguing over the phone, trying to make it happen for us- I didn't think it actually would.

  Not that I didn't want it to- I just didn't think a judge himself would allow us in the courthouse after closing time. Ahhh, the perks of knowing a billionaire owner of a conglomerate.

  I spend about five minutes trying to psyche myself up in the mirror. I am wearing one of Victor's suits, feeling way too poor in it. I was just going to wear the singular one Lauren sent me here with but he insisted- said he wouldn't have me with a wrinkled suit in the wedding pictures( he got a photographer friend of his to come be the second witness).

  You can do this. You love her. Don't be a pussy-

  There's a knock at the bathroom door. Ordinarily this would draw stares since it's a public restroom, but the place is closed now. It can only be two people.

  "Come in?" My voice hitches up from the nervousness of the whole situation. When Victor steps in, it doesn't help my anxiety. I love her, and I love him by association- but my god he is powerful. He could have me hit-maned as fast as Lauren, if he wanted to, and I would just drop off the face of the earth.

  "Hey. How are you feeling?" He asks.

  "Honestly? Fucking terrified."

  "That's reasonable." He nods. "You are after all, about to marry into the richest family in the world. You'll be under a lot of scrutiny from higher ups in the company..... whether you decide to join it or not."

  "With all due respect sir, I'm not a businessman. I never have been and.... Oh that's comforting." I wipe a bead of sweat from my forehead.

  "I know right?" He chuckles. "James?"

  "Yes sir?"

  "Take care of her. For me."

Sir... I love your daughter but she is more than capable of taking care of herself. You know this."

"Of course I do-" he shakes his head. "I mean If something happens. My death.... My death with destroy her for god knows how long and I do not know if she'll  be able to pull herself out of it. Do the same thing for her she did for you. Yeah, she told me about that."

  "I..." I didn't think she would have, but I guess I'm not surprised. "Okay."

  With that, he leaves me alone, mouth gaping, heart still beating fast.

  That conversation was beyond weird. He sounded downright suicidal, especially from his tone of voice.

  I shake my head. No. I'm probably just losing it. He probably sounded like his normal self. I am making things up now.

  I turn back to the sink. Beside it, there is a tiny tube of toothpaste and a brush. I spent almost four minutes scrubbing every crevasse of my mouth( can't have bad breath on my only wedding day), and then I comb through my hair for what must be the tenth time with my fingers.

  I stand back to look at myself. I sigh. This is as good as it's gonna get. Maria will look like a goddess no matter what she does.

  Anddd that is another reason I don't deserve her.

    Might as well get this over with before she comes to her senses and finds someone better- god that sounds toxic.

  That's another thing I need to work on. Toxicity became such a habit of mine just for survival. If I wasn't an asshole in.... Guantanamo bay, near the end I wouldn't have survived.

  In the last hunger strike I was a part of, one of the nicer guards pretty much begged me to eat, got on his knees and everything. Pretty pathetic for a member of the military, if you ask me.

  Anyways, I refused, and he cried. I laughed at somebody who was crying because half of his detainees were starving to death. I then watched as he had a moment where he realized there was no other choice, and five minutes later he returned with five larger guards.

  One of them was carrying the dreaded feeding tubes.

  I looked at it, then back at him, and laughed.

  "Put that thing anywhere near me and I will use is to strangle all of you at the same time then escape using one of the uniforms from your dead bodies after bludgeoning all of you to death with your own batons." At that point, I'd already lost my mind. I don't know why or how I thought I'd get away with that, but anyways- I laughed again.

  They did restrain me, and they did succeed in shoving the tube down my throat.

  I hope my mindset has improved at least enough that she doesn't resent me five years into our marriage. I shake my head. If I keep postponing walking out that door, I may never do it.

  So I do.

  And in the hallway, I smack straight into Maria.

  "Ready?" I ask, though I'm the one that needs assurance.

  "Ready." She nods.

  And as I assumed she would, she looks like a fucking goddess. I wonder when she had this dress made, and who adjusted it, because it fits like a glove and clearly isn't store bought. Not that it matters. I would marry her in a Walmart t shirt.

   I don't think she knows what Walmart is.

  The wedding goes by smoothly. At our vows, I nearly tear up, but near the end, I ball like a fifteen year old girl.

"I do."

  The judge's voice is mere background noise as she utters the words:

  "I do."