miyamura x reader || deja vu

chapter thirteen. diamond

"they put mounds and mounds of pressure onto an especially sparkly rock, expecting a diamond before even checking if it were coal."

you walked through the halls. the normal chatter resumed, unplagued by rumors or false gossip. after seeing the strength of your relationship with miyamura, they had no reason to bother, and a new fundamental truth popped into their brains: imperfection.

"(l/n)-san?" miyamura prodded sleepily, trailing behind you. "what're you thinking about?"

"the weather." you lied, just to hear him say it.

"yeah, it sure is wram."

you laughed as you sat down at your desk. "nevermind, i wasn't thinking about the weather."

he yawned and stretched before leaning towards you, his arms crossed on your desk, staring into your eyes as if no one else mattered. you suppressed your fluster. "what were you thinking of, then?"

"change." you smiled nostalgically, truthfully. this was the desk where your first love started, this was the school where your first love ended, and this was the room where your first love rekindled, stronger than ever. "how some things did, and how some things didn't. our relationship did, for example, but the school is the same. everything else is pretty much the same. i can't help but feel reminded of every mistake i ever made and every good thing that ever happened to me everytime i see these desks, these halls, and hear the students chatting."

there could've been better ways to get where i'm at, and that much was a mistake. but, in the end, i didn't hurt anyone. and i'm here.

maybe it's not a mistake.

"what else changed for you?" the boy replied after a nod of understanding.

"the pressure. people see me as human now," you smiled. "this is what i used to think: 'i'm not coal, why do they think the pressure will turn me into something better? how did they know i was even capable of doing such?' you know?"

he smiled and brushed stray strands of hair away from your face. "i think you changed. i think you got better."

"because of the pressure?" you pressed your lips together with inquiry.

miyamura thought for a second, turning to play with your hair. he twisted and braided it thoughtfully. "maybe."

"how so?"

he shrugged. "well, without the pressure put on you by other students, gossips, and rumors, you wouldn't be here."

"here?" you said, confused. "i'm pretty sure i'd still be here."

"here, with me." he smiled, gently guiding your head to face his. he examined your blush and gently guided his hand to yours. he intertwined your fingers, thankful that the classroom was empty.

"what changed for you?" you said to him instead. you instantly regretted it, it totally ruined the moment.

"ah, um," miyamura-kun stammered, caught off-guard. "w-well, my relationships at school, for one."

"in a sense, we had the same change. i didn't really have many friends that knew me as something other than 'the student-council vice-president.'" you commented. he nodded and you gestured to say, go on. "but i know that's not all that changed for you."

"i guess, you did, too." he smiled brightly, wholly. 

"hold up, hold up," you put a finger to his lips to silence him. "what changed for you, not me."

"but," his voice softened. "you are what changed for me. you're a part of me."

ah.. you flushed, again.

"what changed for me is that you came into my life." a whole-hearted response. "you were always there, actually. you just acknowledged me for once, and that was all that mattered at the time. then i wanted more."

i did, too.

"ch-cheesy!" you teased, turning to avoid showing how red your face is. "you're so corny, i'm-"

"second of all, we changed." he started, as if he were writing an essay. "how we used to be gives me some sort of nostalgia, since we do the same things now but they're more.. real?"

you understood what he meant. you felt that way too. but, soon, you'd surpass how far you got in your past relationship, and the nostalgia would fade. there would be no deja vu. there would be no regrets. you'd begin to truly live in the present.

"i'm glad you changed," he continued. "you're stronger. and although the pressure didn't change your appearance, and although you aren't coal.. you're genuine. we're not fake. you've always been shinier than the others. you've always been a diamond, one that looked different to the public than you did with me. but now.. you're my diamond."

the bell rang, and he turned back towards his seat, leaving you awe-struck. was this really the miyamura-kun you knew?

you felt your head, still feeling the lingering warmth of his fingers weaving your hair strands meticulously. the only problem was that it was bunched up in a half-braid, half-bun, and likely all-knotted fashion. the ends were sticking out in all directions and various loops and loosely tucked in pieces were dangling over your face but you didn't take it down, and when people asked what happened, you were able to say with pride,

"my boyfriend."

bonus:

miyamura, hurt, and actually proud of how he styled your hair: "was that supposed to be an insult..?"