Between Two Eternities || Travis Hamonic

(29) Everything I Didn't Say

"The one you love and the one who loves you are never, ever the same person."

-Chuck Palahniuk, Invisible Monsters

Music pulses like rain, so does my blood. Bobby and I are seated at the bar. I was occupied by a Sprite. Remember, I swore off alcohol? While Bobby had a beer, I would be going dry.

I sway slightly to the beat, though it is not a beat typical of swaying.

Bobby takes a swig of beer and lets out a joyful "whoop." This is our kind of night. These nights end late, or not at all. Just me and Bobby ... and randoms who we dance with, eat with, drink with, live with. This is the life of a twenty two year old I hadn't known existed.

These nights never end in sex. Even when I am drunk enough to do anything, Bobby respects me too much to do something like that while I'm not in the right mind.

An arm comes to my shoulder, making my soda spill out of the glass, drops littering my black dress and bare thighs. Our mutual friend, more Bobby's friend than mine, also from high school, Jared Letter has joined in on our party.

"Fancy seeing you here, guys," he says, hanging on between us and wobbling atop his own feet.

Bobby pulls Jared's arm off my shoulder and pushes him to the bar stool next to him, the only empty seat. "I told you we would be here, man."

Jared takes a swig of Bobby's beer, and wipes his mouth with the back of his hand. "Still fancy, isn't it?"

Bobby roughly grabs his beer back and shakes his head as I roll my eyes. Leave it to Jared to already be drunk. It's only nine o'clock. He hasn't changed. Even in high school, he had made it his mission to get drunk before arriving at parties.

Next, Jared stretches over to steal my glass and swigs back a huge sip. He spits it out all over the floor. "What the hell is that?" he exclaims with drunken disgust.

"It's Sprite," I say, speaking across Bobby. Jared rolls his eyes; he hates how mild I am.

"Get me something good," he demands to no one in particular.

Bobby laughs and waves down the bartender. Soon enough, three shots are placed in front of us. Automatically, we down them at the same time, the burning of my throat suddenly fueling me to have more fun. What's one drink?

Jared wobbles to the crowded floor, presumably to find a girl that suits him. He's very odd, and has unique criteria for a dance partner. Even drunk, he never strays from the blonde hair, blue eyed, three inches or so shorter than his six foot height.

Once he's gone, Bobby leans over and kisses my lips fervently. Whether it's the alcohol or Bobby's intoxicating touch, my mind is swimming.

Swimming all the way to another life. Swimming into the frozen water of winter.

I was never one for public displays of affection, but I'm different now. Bobby is a certain kind of guy and he likes to express his affections.

He disconnects from my lips, which produces a popping sound, and fervently kisses the sensitive skin on my neck. My eyes almost roll to the back of my head, but something stops me.

I can see Travis.

Why can I see Travis?

I sit up straighter, pushing Bobby away slightly, and squint my eyes to get a better look. He's laughing, and turned sideways, so I don't know for sure if it's him. Bobby doesn't notice.

Clang. My thighs are suddenly cold, the hem of my dress soaked through to my skin. It shocks my system and causes my heart to quicken for a short second.