Between Two Eternities || Travis Hamonic

(14) Take Me to Church

"They say a person needs just three things to be truly happy in this world: someone to love, something to do, something to hope for."

-Tom Bodett

"Are you sure you're sick?" Matt asks for the millionth time.

"Yes I'm sure," I snap. I don't mean to, but I thought I had been selling it pretty good. I'm sitting on the couch with my head leaned back, a blanket over my legs and my hair in a ratty bun on my head. I only half opened my eyes and talk deeper than usual so to sell it a bit more. You don't get through middle school as the outcast without faking a few sick days every once in a while.

"What should I tell Travis?" he says.

I snap my head up from the arm of the couch and my eyes widen. Matt is all ready to go, with his shoes on and sweatshirt over the jersey I know he's wearing. This obsession with Travis is the exact reason why I'm faking sick.

"Tell him I'm sick!" I snap again.

Matt mumbles an okay and I hear the front door shut a few seconds later. He is going to the game by himself tonight. Just like the previous two games.

My own brooding brought me to this point.
I can't face him. Obviously, Travis and I haven't said one word or been in any contact with each other in two weeks.

I'm such a horrible person. The look on his face is in my dreams every night, but I have to think of the consequences. I justify my decision with predicting how Matt would feel. He thinks I steal everything from him - the biggest bedroom, the "good" seat at dinner, his Islanders jersey ...

The jersey was by accident though. I thought it was mine; they both look the same. But apparently Matt can spot any difference from a mile away.

I'm not going to steal Travis from him too.

The fact that there have been no calls or texts from him leads me to believe that he doesn't want to see me anyway. The bridge has been burned.

I sigh at the realization of a quiet house, again. I've been alone a lot this past week. I should be used to it, but the constant sneaking around with Travis has become routine for me. It made me wash my hair every night and put on makeup and dress in something other than sweatpants. 

Now, I'm exactly that - that shell that I was.

I sit up and throw the blanket off me. Believe it or not, I kinda like hockey now. I've been to almost ten games, and it's grown on me. So I turn on the TV and surf until I find the game on some sports channel.

I had never passionately watched tv, or played a sport, or joined a club, or had a hobby besides playing the piano. Which I quit when I was twelve.

But I spend tonight watching the Islanders game. I revel in acting like an actual fan. I may have been jumping on the couch during a series of shots by the Islanders. It's stressful watching this stuff on tv.

"Geez Arden. You're gonna break the couch."

I jump out of my skin and hop down at the same instant. I turn around and Molly is standing unbalanced with a armful of grocery bags.

"Aunt Molly, I didn't know you were home," I say.

Talk about embarrassment. Molly is quirky and she doesn't judge. But still, she's my aunt.
I'm technically an adult now, so I don't know why but I just feel like I shouldn't be jumping all over the place.

Molly reaches up on her toes to slip some freshly bought cereal into the cabinets. "How are things going with Travis?" she asks, her back to me.

Travis. Is it really that obvious?