Between Two Eternities || Travis Hamonic

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I was lied to.

By everyone I care about.

And by those who I don't.

Wyoming lied to me. Aunt Molly lied to me. The nurses and therapists at Highland Ridge lied to me.

Most importantly, and enlighteningly, Travis lied to me.

They all promised me one thing. Differing things, but things I counted on.

. . . But not before the first few weeks. A few dreamlike weeks of sweet texts and late night phone calls from Travis.

Those weeks falsely made me believe that I wasn't sick.

I had hid the phone in my plain white pillow case. And every night would revel in the little sentences he would send to my phone. Or sometimes just words.

I scored tonight. Would you believe me if I said it was for you?

I can't wait until you come back.

I looked forward to them as much as I looked forward to going home. To actually seeing him.

But then he stopped sending them.

For weeks I sent messages to him, until I came to my senses and stopped sending them. It made me feel horrible about everything.

It messed me up good.

I can't begin to tell you what it did to my heart. I should've expected it. I used to always brace for the bad. And then Travis made me happy enough to just relish in all the good I have.

I never would've thought that he would be the one to break me.

I quit Travis cold turkey, and it was worse than everything I've read about withdrawals. Physical pain ends, but you never know how far emotional pain will go. It can kill you without you ever dying.

I questioned everything we had. Did we have anything? The realization that one day, it was all gone ... it broke my heart. I don't know how to describe a broken heart, all I can say is that I physically ached every minute of everyday. And I just knew somehow, that I would never forget Travis Hamonic, all the good things he did for me.

That's what hurt the most: I would forgive the pain he caused me, and remember instead that he was my savior.