Between Two Eternities || Travis Hamonic

(17) Breathe Me

"There is some good in the world, and it's worth fighting for."

-J.R.R. Tolkien, The Two Towers

I look in the mirror this morning, expecting to see what I always see. But the pain that had so accustomed itself into my soul, is not present.

I sure look painful. My hair is a mess and my lounge clothes are wrinkled.

Yet as I looked in the mirror, I have an unexpected surprise. Rather than pain and grief, I am flooded with peace.

For I realize now that pain is necessary. Without it, I wouldn't know how good good really is.

No one is home -
Molly at work, Matt at school. It's a Wednesday, so I have no classes. Speaking of classes, I've been falling terribly behind. I decide to work on my research assignment for my Epidemiology 405 course.

I smile and do a 360 turn for myself. I don't look any different. But yet I do. I'm glowing - like Travis's eyes. And I actually have a plan for today (homework). Usually my days off consist of pajamas and snacking on unbuttered popcorn.

A plan gives me motivation.

Plump.

My head whips to the window where the sound resonated from. I skip over and peer out of it curiously. Travis is on the sidewalk, tiny rocks in his hand.

Throwing rocks at your window. I'll be the one standing there even when it's cold.

It's so cliche but it's Travis.

He always drops by every morning now. He'll drive me to campus, or we'll get coffee before I have to catch the subway and he has to get to practice.

But Wednesdays ... those are my favorite. Because we have all day to do anything we want (barring any hockey related commitments). I never have classes today. Those rare days when he has absolutely nothing to do, we get to spend sun up to sun down together and I couldn't ask for anything better.

On Wednesdays, I get to see the guy who brought me to his Church, and showed up for Matt, and gives me sweet complements.

Each time, I learn something new about him. Not just about his life, but about his spirit. He grieves and he mourns, but he uses it to be happy and honestly sees life as a gift. He takes absolutely nothing for granted.

Another rock pings on my window, and I snap back into focus. I was staring at him for so long, that everything had began to get blurry.

He holds out his arms and raises his eyebrows. Are you coming?

I grin, nod, and hold up one finger.
One minute.

He's the reason I'm glowing. That I'm so peaceful.

I throw out my plan to start on that research paper due next week. School is always backup to Travis; my choice. If it was up to him I would be studying twenty four hours, seven days a week. We tried that once; him helping me study. It had only resulted in him mispronouncing a lot of medical terms and me giggling about it every single time.

I change quickly and throw my hair into a ponytail. It doesn't matter. I feel confident today. No matter that my jeans are ripped at the knees unintentionally and my sweater is overly large.

I know Travis won't care, and my knowing was confirmed when ...

"You look great today."

He always says something to that affect. And every single time, I blush.