All For Her ( A Thasmin Story)

A Situation Turned Ugly

Sunlight seeps in through The Doctor's large, open bedroom window, the harsh light shining directly onto my eyes, waking me.

As my eyes open, the sudden realisation this is the second time that The Doctor and I have slept together in her bed hits me like a truck. My heart hammers in my chest and my face starts to boil as I begin to really take in the gravity of the situation at hand.

Scattered memories from last night flash between my eyes as I close them, my stomach turning with nervousness.

The gap closing between me and The Doctor, her face illuminated by the orange lava lamp in the corner of her room as she smiles against my lips. The hot, liquid mess inside the jar is mesmerising, but not as much as The Doctor.

Not as much as those lips that taste like metal and thick, sweet honey and that pungent lavender that once felt suffocating and trapping but now feels like something bordering on refreshing and freeing.

Not as much as her hair that looks like liquid gold, every strand glistens under my hands as I rake my hands through it, slipping under, over and through my fingers like a slow running stream.

Not as much as those eyes that I've seen over and over again but somehow feel unfamiliar and like a strangers. A pair that I've seen reflect so much hurt and confusion and rage and self hatred but still manage to look at me like I'm the most precious thing in the world that, at all costs, must not be lost.

And it's those same eyes that look at me now as I finally open mine.

"Hi there Yaz."

Her voice is sticky with sleep, scratchy and monotone as she greets me with a faint smile playing on her lips.

"Hi, Doctor."

She closes her eyes again, tapping her fingers on my waist in a pattern of 4.

It's here that I can properly analyse my situation.

The Doctor's arm is wrapped comfortably around my waist, pressing into the curve of my hipbone, her leg softly placed over mine, lightly intertwined just at the calf. Her other hand is being used to cradle her head, bent just at the elbow so that she can stroke her own hair.

I've realised that she likes that a lot, having her hair stroked.

I then begin to look at my body.

One of my hands is hovering just on The Doctor's hip bone, the sturdiness of it grounds me as my cheek is resting on her shoulder.

"What are you thinking about, I can practically hear the cogs turning."

The drumming on my waist stops as The Doctor opens her eyes to look at me, a look of confusion on her face.

"Nothing too important, just assessing the situation we're in."

She hums and I feel it, echoing in her rib cage.

"It's a beautiful situation."

The phrase brings a smile to my face and a warm feeling to my heart.

"It is, isn't it?" I mumble, my voice fading as sleep takes me once more. 

~•~

"Thank you for getting back to me, Doctor. I was worried you'd forgot about me." Maria is as annoying as ever, strutting in front of us as she leads us down the long hallway to the room that she claimed was 'bound to help with our little adventure'. 

The Doctor's face is completely blank, it's really scary.

But at least she's holding my hand so I know she's semi okay.