Seasonal Scrawl | Collection

(01)

Part 01: Imlie's pov

I glanced at each of their faces without a single emotion showing on my own despite whatever I was feeling at the moment within me. All had their heads bowed, their eyes glued to the ground. None had the courage to look up at me. I did not understand what to make of it. I did not understand what to feel at this moment. Hurt? Angry? Betrayed?

A lone tear escaped my eyes as I pulled myself from Rupi Didi's supportive grip. If she hadn't been holding me, I surely would have slumped back. The silver bangles in my hand dashed against each other as I lifted my hand to wipe the tear, their clamour no longer having any effect on me.

I wonder what I have done such? What have I done so bad that I'm abandoned by all the people I love? Am I so easy to give up on? Why am I a burden people just wait to get rid of? This happy world of mine was just a mirage? All this while I was living in a world of illusion, is it? I felt my heart clench again. Just how much pain and hurt does it have to endure? Why can't anybody love me unconditionally? Why?

I felt a hand on my head, making me snap out of my thoughts. It was Badke Kaka standing infront of me with tears in his eyes. He and Rupi Didi were the only ones who really felt for me, this is a reality I realised today. I never meant anything to the rest! Maybe all of it had been a facade all along!

No! I can't think that about my family! Whatever they are doing, there's a reason behind it - this was what one part of my heart said while the other just remained lost in the gnawing pain and hurt. I hugged Badke Kaka tightly but did not let even one tear drop fall.

Maybe it was the hurt in me that was giving rise to such thoughts but I couldn't help but think that the love I held and still hold for this family which is my Sasural, despite them not knowing it, has been unconditional just from one side!

"Imlie, anytime you face anything or you need anything, I'm just one call away Beta! Study well and remember, be it whatever the others say, I have complete trust in you! I'm sorry I can't stop your departure but just know that I'm always with you"

His words felt like a small drop of ointment on my deep wounds. We parted and I nodded with a smile, a smile which I tried would look genuine as much as possible because my respect and love for him was indeed genuine and much greater than what I felt for the rest. Maybe even God was aware of who would stick by and who would abandon. That's why he built my closest relationships with Badke Kaka and Rupi Didi.

I bent down to touch his feet and he blessed me wholeheartedly. I moved to the others and just touched their feets and came away to Rupi Didi's side. I dint wait for them to speak because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle it. This hurt was too much to bear and I knew I would burst out if I had allowed them to speak a word.

I could feel their eyes on me and I knew they were all guilty. But I couldn't bring myself to look at them. I hugged Rupi Didi tightly as she did provide that one moment of solace my bruised self needed badly. I wanted to cry out, shout loudly and let all know what and to what extent I was feeling but I knew I couldn't! I knew these wounds would only be ripped apart further when I move to English Madam's house and so I let myself derive some comfort from Rupi Didi's warm embrace. She said a lot of things but I just held onto her like a small child holds onto its mother.

It felt extremely difficult to let go of her and move but I knew I had to. Wish I could see Malini Didi and Babusaheb for one last time! Just the mention of both made my eyes fill up again. With great difficulty, I controlled myself from breaking down and moved towards Bhura Daku and English Madam.

Without turning back, I moved with them and got into their car. I knew all of them were looking at me but I did not have the strength to look towards them at all. As the car drove out of the Tripathis house, I closed my eyes with a resolve. Imlie had sacrificed herself completely and now what was remaining was a living corpse. The bubbly, chirpy Imlie had died her death today. She had been slowly dying all this while and had completely succumbed today because she had had enough people abandoning her! Imlie Tripathi had died her death today and she did not know if she would ever be able to regain herself!

Love,
Pratyusha