Seasonal Scrawl | Collection

01A| Adilie OS: Feelings ✓

The Tripathi household was bustling with activity even as all the members could be seen running here and there to get the work done. All arrangements were being seen into and the last moment preparations were being done as well. The air was filled with immense happiness as after all, the daughter of the house, Imlie Tripathi was getting married to her "love" aka Sundar! The marriage was to happen in some hours so the preparations were being looked into.

But seated in her room, the bride to be was drowned in melancholy. An overwhelming ache had consumed her since the time this decision had been taken but all she could do was fight it, suppress it because she knew the cure to this was beyond her reach! A lone tear dropped down her eyes even as she closed her eyes and swallowed hard to suppress the ache which was at its zenith within her today.

Why was it so difficult to move on? Why did she want to hold on to the relation she had with him despite crumbling each moment holding onto it? Why?

"You know the answer very well Imlie" her heart whispered and her lips curved into a sad smile.

She very well knew the answer to these questions but she would never admit it. Not even to herself because she knew these feelings of hers had no future. He could never be hers. A sigh escaped her lips. She stood up and moved towards her drawer. Opening it, she lifted the clothes kept on it and carefully pulled out the mangalsutra. She caressed it with tears in her eyes and kept looking at it with a sense of longing.

She would be wearing this around her neck soon but not for him, not to show she belonged to him but for somebody else. She held it closer to her chest and memories of the times he had made her wear this flooded her mind. She had decided she would never force herself on him and had abided by it as well. She had also told him that he would be the only man in her life, that she would belong only to him and here she was marrying someone else, again just for him. Her feelings had begun to grow strong and she was too scared of its consequences. She knew she wouldn't be able to mask her feelings for long and had started maintaining her distance from him. She had started to grow distant assuming it would help her control her feelings. She had succeeded as well until he started stepping in her direction! He had started to pay more attention to her. He had started to warm up towards her, making it extremely difficult for her to bring about a hold to her feelings. But the last nail in the coffin, the thing that ultimately pushed her to this decision was English Madam's accusation that she was the reason Malini Didi and Babusaheb's relationship was falling apart, that she, a servant was trying to entice her master, that she a lowlife had such audacity to cultivate illegitimate feelings towards her master and eye his riches! She had heard a lot of comments, taunts and abuses hurled her way but this one had been too much to take. It wasn't just her character which was raised a finger at, yet again that hurt her so much. It was the name her feelings had been given, the way her shattered heart had been jabbed with these allegations that broke her more than she was already broken

She hadn't asked or wished for too much in her life. She was a soul carefree, happy and content with just a few dreams gleaming in her eyes. Yet all that she got was hurt, pain and agony. All she wanted was to one day make her name on her own, to make her mother's head raise in pride so that she could give back to all those who had taunted them always. Was this too much to ask for?
Yet all she had got was insults, taunts and the falling of her dreams. She had been accused for something she hadn't done, pushed into wedlock in the name of prestige,shunned and cast away like she wasn't a human with breaths, feelings and emotions, blamed for every mishappening, inconvenience, termed a nuisance and low life and even had been snatched off her right, her sindoor!

There's a point till a person can possibly tolerate and she had then reached that point. Now the only way she could hold herself from destroying 2 more lives apart from her own and breaking the hearts of the family who had welcomed her into their lives with open arms and had showered immense love on her without caring about that fact that she was a mere servant, was by going away from them. But she hadn't been successful in leaving as the family had caught her sneaking out with her potli and had emotionally blackmailed her into staying back.