Seasonal Scrawl | Collection

03F| Reflection Ft. Anu ✓

Anu Chaturvedi sat in her room which was covered in curtains of perpetually lingering darkness, something which had over the years seeped within her as well. When she had spotted Meethi at the Tripathi house, it felt like her broken, splintered heart had caught up fire which had then raged through her veins. 20 years of buried fury which had to be directed at Dev in turn had been poured over Meethi by butchering her character outrageously. Aghast was what Meethi had looked at that moment, anguish burning in her eyes similar to the one Anu herself had pushed within her all these years. But before Meethi could utter a word more, her daughter Imlie had come and stood right infront of her, shielding her mother, her eyes holding the fire she had been witness to twice before.

But somehow Anu had managed to dodge her away by revealing the devastating truth of Imlie being Dev's illegitimate daughter which had shattered her and the fire had been replaced by shock and devastation. But then, Anu hadn't ever met the other shield uptill the final moment - Satyakam!
While Meethi held on to her daughter trying to stabilise the devastated soul, Satyakam stood right infront of her, his eyes burning with the same fire she had seen in Imlie's eyes, only two times greater. A chill had run down her spine and she knew better than to mess with this man who seemed intimidating because even as his eyes held fire, his other features were calm, a combination really dangerous. And so she had taken the easy way out - glared at Meethi and Imlie and left from there.

But at the present moment, sitting in her room, she couldn't help but reflect. Reflect on everything - Meethi, Dev, Satyakam, Imlie and herself!
Imlie - the girl she had hated right from the first time she met her. No one including herself actually understood why this had happened. But today, Anu knew why.

Anuja Chaturvedi had only ever loved Dev in her life. She was happy getting married to him, becoming his wife. She had defied even her own father she had placed above herself each time, to marry Dev. With Malini's birth, her joy had only increased. But that fateful day 20 years back when she had got an inkling of her husband's deceit, everything within her including her pride had broken. But she did not have the strength to part from Dev. She dint have the courage to uphold her self respect and walk away and that's why she had instead hung on and made his life miserable with her bitterness and taunts. All these years, she had mistaken her lack of courage to be Malini's needs. She had believed she stuck on because she dint want Malini's life to be destroyed by seperating her from her father whom she loved a lot. This might have been one of the reasons but it wasn't the primary reason. Her primary reason was she did not have the courage to lead life as a divorced single mother!

But today she knew she had to accept all the truths she had chosen to avoid, to herself.
Her mind went back to Imlie. Imlie who was her husband's illegitimate daughter. But she was nothing like Dev. Absolutely nothing like him! She wasn't a coward! She wasn't meek. Imlie was fire and that is what had irked Anu in the first place. That she was from Pagdandiya had given Anu a nice excuse to ridicule her but she had masked all of it as concern for her daughter's fate. It wasn't a complete lie though. Anuja indeed was worried that her daughter's fate would become like hers because she had seen something none other had.

Aditya Tripathi wasn't her choice for her daughter but she had given in only for Malini's happiness. Aditya was a straightforward man, a man of few words who wasn't so expressive regarding anything. The man did have a temper and his family members indeed feared his anger but to Anu, it wasn't much intimidating. It was rather something akin to normal. There was nothing to fear.

But the way Aditya interacted with Imlie was what left her concerned. His anger was at another peak with her! And that's when Anu had seen what she hadn't seen in Aditya all these years - Aditya had started becoming more expressive. She had seen a spark between Aditya and Imlie despite the turbulent equation the two shared with him being angry, annoyed and irritated at her all the time. Anu had seen what nobody had seen which was how Imlie was considered in his eyes. She was there in his mention, in his anger, in his apparent hatred and in his irritation as well. This is what she feared for all these 7 years, Malini wasn't so much imbibed in him even in his apparent love! Imlie had just by coming into their lives, begun bringing in changes in Aditya Kumar Tripathi, something which her daughter hadn't been able to do in the past 7 years with her love.

This observation was what had irked her more which initiated such responses from her at Imlie's mere sight.
She had time and again insulted Imlie, calling out on her character, her upbringing just to put her down so that she remembers her status and doesn't dare to take a step towards Aditya if he were ever to take one. But today Anu knew she couldn't deny that Imlie had been brought up extremely well.

If she hadn't known the truth,she wouldn't have been able to know Dev was Imlie's biological father because she was absolutely nothing like him. Imlie had not taken after her blood father but had taken after her adoptive father! Imlie was truly Satyakam's daughter even if they weren't related by blood. She was not Meethi and Dev's biological daughter. She was Satyakam and Meethi's upbringing.

How much ever she had insulted Meethi deeming it to be because she was the other woman in her life, Anu knew it wasn't actually so. This anger was her jealousy. Meethi was everything she wasn't. Gentle, caring and peaceful. She was tranquillity while Anuja was storm. Meethi was a simple soul who wasn't to be gauged by her poor background as a villager. But Anu was opposite to her. She was dominating and egoistic and she had no qualms behind accepting this to herself because she knew this was the truth which wouldn't change how many ever times she may defy. Which is why Dev had moved towards Meethi, betraying her.

Imlie was caring and loving towards all, especially the Tripathi which was just like her mother. She could see the gentleness, durability and calm like Meethi and anger, sense of justice and fire like Satyakam in Imlie. She was their daughter. Anu was well aware of this but she wouldn't ever accept this infront of others! Her ego was far too big to do so!
Her thoughts then went to her own daughter. Malini despite being caring and gentle was a coward. Malini was indeed Dev's and her daughter because she had inherited her father's cowardice and mother's habit of running away from truths and problems which is why Anu had been extremely worried about Malini transforming into another Anu Chaturvedi.

She dint want that. Anuja Chaturvedi did not want Malini to become one more her because she knew just how hollow she was from inside. She was a hollow figure filled with nothing but resentment, jealousy and ego. The pain of her heartbreak had put in a lot of bitterness in her which she then used as a cover to her own negativity. Her happiness had been destroyed and so, she dint want others to be happy either. Imlie's happy-go-lucky, lively nature was what had irritated her because of this.

To the world, she was headstrong but she knew the venomous fire she spit out each time was just to mask her cowardice. In the loneliness of her room, reflecting on her inner self, laying it out and inspecting each part of it pushed her to accept each reality she had defied. And so she accepted to herself - she envied Imlie. She envied Meethi. She envied their happiness. She envied their courage. She envied Meethi for being strong all these years, raising her daughter so well despite the taunts and insults she faced along with the usual challenges of parenthood. She envied Meethi because Dev chose a village woman like Meethi over her.
She envied Imlie for being courageous, for being selfless, for being happy and making others happy, for forgiving and for fighting her head on. She envied her for keeping her self-respect and her mother's esteem front and facing her strongly. She envied her for having the ability to hold up and cheer up the Tripathi family something she wanted her daughter to do. She envied the Tripathis that they were so happy with each other despite the problems. Anuja envied all of it and thus had set out to snatch all of it from them. But she had forgotten, this destruction she has started on has just made her lose a lot of things.
Accepting this to herself made her feel a lot better.
She knew she wouldn't be able to correct what she has done. Niether would she be able to forgive herself for what she's done. But today, she knew, she had had enough of this! A lone tear slipped down her eyes followed by a few more. And soon, letting out her tears, she strived to push out a little of the negativity within her.

Love,
Pratyusha