AMOUR || J.JK × Reader ✔

chapter 28 | Deep down

10 minutes later...

At the sound of a door getting opened, I stand up with Hajoon, and I look at y/n walking up towards us with her two luggage and bags. She brings them to the front door, so we follow her, but Hajoon cannot even stay calm at the thought of her leaving us for good. "Are you sure you have to—"

"Hajoon," I stop him, giving him the look that he knows means that he should not do this again. He exhales heavily to express his discontent. "I'll visit you, or we'll hang out next week, don't worry," she reassures him, and I stay in the back to let them both say goodbye to each other.

"Who's gonna cook delicious food now...?" he throws his arms around her and hugs her like a kid who does not want to let his favorite human go. "And don't take it the wrong way..." he rectifies what did not sound right, but she giggles and does not even get mad about it. "My cousin will cook for you if you want."

"I don't care about your cousin...I just care about you," his sentences unwillingly leave him in a rude way, but she knows what he means by that and seems to understand why he is talking in such a way. She rubs his back and does not say anything, but we make eye contact for short seconds.

She pulls away from him to not make it last for too long, and she puts her jacket on. "Don't you want me to drive you home?" I comb my hair back, and she answers with the opposite of what I would love to hear. "The uber is about to be here. Don't bother."

"It wouldn't have bothered me, you know it," I try to act normal in front of my son, feeling the reality hit me way harder than I wish it was. Once she is done putting her jacket and shoes on, I move forth and hug her for the last time. "Take care of yourself, eat and rest well. Text and call me whenever you want or need...Don't forget it," I rub my thumb over her waist, and I step back to let her go, realizing for good that our routine together is over.

"Take care of yourself as well, stay healthy," she looks into my eyes. "Very healthy, and safe," she emphasizes this word, knowing what I could dive back into. She puts her attention over Hajoon, and he hugs her again, but my brain just flies off the handle, and I think about everything to hurt myself while looking at her.

This was too quick, I did not even have the time to enjoy my last days by her side to the full. I wish I would have known at least yesterday that this one would be the last one with her in my house.

I watch her smile at Hajoon and comfort him, but a knot in my throat aches, my heart clenching in my chest, I anxiously run my fingers through my hair and do everything possible to not break down.

"I'll visit you next weekend with your favorite meal, okay?" she manages to make him smile, but I clear my throat at the feeling of some tears flooding my eyes. Once she looks at me, I cowardly escape this situation full of distress. "I...I need to check up on Hyejoon," I use as an excuse. "See you," I bite my lips and swallow, but her smile just ends me, so I walk upstairs and let my feelings have their impact. I walk into Hyejoon's room, and I cover my face with my hands to quieten the sounds my sobs could provoke.

She was the only one able to keep me calm, to make me relax, and keep me away from the toxicity that harms me but which I cannot even retreat from whenever I am in pain.

I know I should not depend on her though, so I have to handle this pain by myself. I do not even know why I am so sensitive, I would not have reacted that way if I was not going through what I am going through lately. The reason why she had to leave us is even worse for me.

I keep silent as much as I can, and I wait to hear the door that means she left the house.

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