Fiendish Thingies for Beatlemaniacs Only, Book 2!

Who Stole George's Biscuits? (Detective Macca)

And now we begin. George's biscuits went missing this morning, and no one knows who it could possibly be. Couldn't have been me. I haven't eaten at all today. I've got one main suspect in mind, the one who always seems to have caused the crime:

John Winston Lennon.

John: Really, Paul? Me? I wouldn't do that.

Detective Macca: That's not my name, sir.

John: *rolls eyes* Fine. Detective Macca, I wouldn't do that.

Detective Macca: I don't believe you.

John: Hey...buddy...we're friends here, right?

Detective Macca: I don't have friends at the moment. I have suspects.

John: Whatever.

Detective Macca: I'm not done with you, Mr. Lennon. I've got a few questions.

John: Alright, what do you want to know?

Detective Macca: Where were you this morning?

John: With everyone here! We're not allowed to leave, y'know! Don't bother asking Ringo that question, he'll give you the same answer!

Detective Macca: Don't tell me how to do my job. Now, what have you eaten today?

John: Nothing! I just drank some tea to wake me up.

That alibi sounds solid, but I'm still curious.

John: You know that early this morning, I was watching TV.

That was true. As I woke up, I saw him doing that in our shared hotel bed. I, however, quickly fell back asleep.

Detective Macca: George, what time exactly were your biscuits stolen?

George: About 9:00.

Detective Macca: Alright, it wasn't you. You were still watching TV by then. I had just completely woken up.

John: *laughs* Your eyes were open.

Detective Macca: NO THEY WEREN'T!

Looks like I'll never live that down. It doesn't matter, it's time to move on to another suspect, one that we failed to acknowledge last time:

Eppy.

Detective Macca: George, we've got to interrogate Brian.

George: Eppy? I doubt it was him...

Detective Macca: Ah, but we must remember that he was the one who had my bass last time.

George: True. Alright, let's go...

This time, George and I carefully snuck down to the elevator, making sure we wouldn't attract any fangirls. Last time it was a total mess.

George: The coast is clear, Detective Macca.

Detective Macca: Good. Eppy's room should be over there. Also, just for today, I should have a nickname for you...

George: Nickname? Like, as a detective?

Detective Macca: Yes. How about...Rookie Hazza?

George: Good enough.

From afar, a girl was standing there, but somehow didn't notice us. I rushed to Brian's room with my new partner, escaping certain death.

Brian: Why did you two leave your room again? And Paul, why are you in those clothes again?

Detective Macca: It's Detective Macca now, Eppy. And that's my partner for the day, Rookie Hazza.

Rookie Hazza: Since we forgot about you when finding Detective Macca's bass, we've come to get some information out of you.

Brian: *sighs* Boys, you know I haven't left this room. I checked on you all once, but that was late last night.

Rookie Hazza: Before my biscuits were missing. Hmm.

Detective Macca: It checks out. Alright, let's go back to Ringo. I suggest that we run...

Back at our room, Ringo immediately looked frightened. He backed away from us, tucking his body under his bed.

Detective Macca: Alright Ringsy, it's your turn...

Ringo: Please, no! I'll confess!

Rookie Hazza: Confess? Ringo, you didn't-

Ringo: But I did...

Rookie Hazza: *hugs him* But why? You know how I am with those.

Ringo: *sobbing* It was the middle of the night, and I was hungry. I thought I would just have one, but I couldn't contain myself and I ate them all! That's why your arms weren't around me this morning, because I got out of bed and didn't bother to slip back in close to you. I'm such a terrible friend...

Rookie Hazza: No you're not! Just ask next time, ok?

Ringo: Ok. I'll buy you some more.

Rookie Hazza: *smiles* Ta, Ringo.

Detective Macca: And that's it! It's solved! Another mystery solved by Detective Macca, and today, Rookie Hazza. A reminder that if anyone has a mystery that I can solve, please let me know.

Me: Or me. Y'know, the person writing this.

John: You'wha? Where were you in this story?

Me: In the background. I stay there so I don't bother you.

John: You just want to be with Paul, don't you?

Me: Well...