Tea Boy (A Deacury Fic)

Chapter 8: Hurt and Love Sick

-John's POV-

For several days, I felt nothing but incredibly heartbroken by the things I told Freddie. It probably affected our friendship already. I felt incredibly terrible and regret the things I've said. On days for our band rehearsals, I rarely spoke to any of them because I'm still quite shy and nervous, and still in extreme emotional pain. I would cry ever so often after leaving the studio. I'd be at home, lying in bed and suddenly crying myself to sleep. I'm sure that my bandmates, classmates, professors, and my coworkers have been concerned about my recent behavior, but at work, I still put those feelings aside and continued to push on with work, regardless of how sucky it is. My manager called me into her office one day, it must be important.

"John, I've noticed you've been....well a little off lately.", she started. "Oh no ma'am, everything's fine...", I lied. "Are you sure? You know you can tell me anything.", she stated. I felt that she would make fun of me for being attracted to both men and women. I took a deep breath and explained myself. "Well, recently, I've been in love with someone. We hung out at their place and they eventually asked if I wanted to go out with them. I told them that I wasn't ready for a relationship at the moment, and they completely understood because they weren't ready either.", I said, feeling my eyes start filling with tears, "I felt so terrible for telling the truth, I know they must've felt as bad as I feel."

She nodded, completely understanding how awful I felt. "I understand it John. You're still very young and you need to find yourself out. Discover what you like and soon you'll find whoever you like. But you must work on yourself for now.", she insisted. I held my head down and sighed. "Don't be so hard on yourself, John. Tell you what, I'll advise customers to tip you as long as you serve them good. Maybe I'll add a bonus to your next check.", she said trying to cheer me. She was right though, I could use extra money and she was very thoughtful of it. "Thank you very much, Ms. Joliet. I appreciate that very much because it's very kind of you.", I said to her looking up at her. "No problem, John, I'll always look after you.", she replied smiling. I smiled back at her and got back to work after leaving her office.

It was almost closing time practically four hours later. Business wasn't too busy, but I did earn quite a bit of tips, more than expected. Of course, I did see Brian and Roger come in today just to check on me, and discussed how I still felt about what happened with me and Freddie. They advised me not to worry about it anymore, and try working on myself. I agreed to listen to those who told me to do so, and I did. I went home and decided to take time for myself and doing things that I enjoyed doing, all whilst for a test for one of my seminars. I promised myself that from now on, I wouldn't worry about being a relationship, it'll come soon. Until I am ready, I'm willing to wait for it.

(A/N If ya understand that last line, you know where it's from. Sorry it's a short one this time, I've gone a little easier on you.)