from the depths of my mind, they flutter free

saudade

notes blended beautifully;
otherworldly melodies;
celestial chords and harmonies
treated my mundane ears and senses
until the last bars passed through speakers
ringing throughout the room.
never thought it would bring me gloom
except it did one fateful morning.

tagged and notified
when I logged in to the site;
opened to see what was waiting inside.

I witnessed a young prodigy
nailing every note of my most-loved piece.

esteem of self crushed to bits
for my fingers could only dream to play;
lack of talent has kept me away.
as others praise the gifted child
tight knots twist in my heart and mind.

memories flooding back inside;
a chorus of past failures arise;
joy usurped by misery;
oh how I wish it would not pain me!
remember when such music last brought me glee?

curse these hands that have no talent!
heart too fragile to even listen;
only sadness is left in its place.
playing it is my dream one day
in hope of reclaiming lost enjoyment
nabbed by envy and diffidence.