from the depths of my mind, they flutter free

a love concealed

I've always heard about love and romance
but never knew what it meant
until I felt that touch of your hands;
for a long moment,
something swelled in my chest.

There was heat beneath my breast
and a queer fluttering sensation.
It took me a while to digest.
I was feeling a new emotion,
one that took me long to name.

It started out tame.
As you kept me company
you nourished my inner flame
just by being with me.
Soon, it was all-consuming.

I couldn't stop thinking
about your touch, so soft and tender,
and how it sends warmth rippling
through my whole body till I shudder
from all the pleasure you imbue.

I can't stop thinking about you.
Your smile warms me more than sunlight
and when you speak, even the softest coo
fills me with immense delight
as everything you do does.

I couldn't point out the cause
of why you gladden me so greatly.
I didn't know what it was
about you that bewitched me.
I did not know that I was in love.

Was I truly in love
or was it mere infatuation?
It took me long to make sense of
this foreign yet familiar emotion.
It was love, and it was growing stronger.

I penned a few love letters
where I worshipped you through writing,
but I could never, ever muster
the courage to confess my feelings.
So I hid them from your eyes.

My longing for you grew as time passed by
and you knew nothing of it.
I feared you'd be horrified
once I admit
that you're my deepest desire.

To this day, it grows ever brighter.
I've tried with all my might
to quell my inner fire
yet it swells when you're in my sight.
Sometimes, I wonder if you know.

I wonder if your ignorance is mere show
and that you never thought of me the same way.
So that my heart would not blow
to pieces, you did not say
anything to me. Not a word.

Oh, I must be absurd.
I sing of you behind closed doors
but not a lyric is heard,
nor a tune, by your
open ear.

With this love comes fear!
Fear of your shock and disgust,
fear that you'll no longer hold me dear,
fear of what they'll think of us
if it turns out you love me too.

They'll say I don't deserve you.
And I'll wholeheartedly agree.
Don't lie to me; it's true.
you're worthy of better than me.
Better than anything this world can offer.

Who is worthy of being your lover?
Who can claim to be as fine?
Oh, I dread the day that another
captures your heart the way you did mine.
I'll only have myself to blame.

My lips lovingly utter your name;
how I wish they voice what lies within!
Days have never been the same
since the day you caressed my skin.
Your love, I dream to one day win.