Til We Meet Again, Next Life

🌺Chapter Four🌺

🌺We Are All Different🌺
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Chris

I was learning to see people differently

Napatingin ako sa babaeng nasa harap ko. And I saw how she's different. She can never maintain eye contact, mahiyain sya but her words was wisdom to me

She was different from Danica. Danica was confident and a 'strive for the best' type of person. Kaya nga sya nangaliwa, kasi kahit kami pa, naghahanap na sya nang mas better sa'kin

Lea was fine with what she already have. She was content

"marami ata akong matututunan sayo" Yun lang ang nasabi ko

Her knowledge stunned me. I never thought that I'd met a girl like her

Sabi nila people come in different types. But she, the girl in front of me, was unique. Hindi sya nagdadalawang isip. She knows her stand, her answers are always final

"You shouldn't" I tilted my head

"why not?" tanong ko

"learning to live like another person is not good" she said while busy playing with her ice cream "being someone else is like learning how to solve equations for the wrong problems"

I smirked. I was starting to see the differences of other people. I used to generalize, but now I see things in a new perspective

"it doesn't matter. Ang importante may natutunan tayo diba?"

"kahit mali?" she gave me a look "ganyan ka na ba ka desperado maging ibang tao dahil lang sa sinasabi nito?"

Her question freezed my mind. She stopped me from talking. I couldn't think straight. She made me question myself. Is she a pastor? A priest?

"alam mo, sa mundo natin mas mabuti nang maging ikaw kaysa idepende ang buhay mo sa mga dinidikta nang tao" she continued "you shouldn't trust my words, we have our individuality. Wag mo akong gawing example. Be your own person"

Be my own person. Bakit nga ba ako nagrerely sa ibang tao? Dahil ba nasanay ako na laging tinatama ang mali ko? O baka dahil masyado na akong naging dependent kaya hindi ko kailan man naisip na may sarili pala akong desisyon. There was no Christian Givino Alejandro Ramirez in my story. It was always Chris. Si Chris na mapagbigay, si Chris na takot maiwan, si Chris na laging nagtatago, Si Chris na Parte lang nang buong pagkatao ko

If it was just a partial portion of me that they know, where was the holistic portion of me? Kung si 'Chris' na ginawa nila ang kilala nila, nasaan ang 'Chris' na ako ang gumawa? Nasaan ang 'Chris' na ako ang namumuno?

I carried the weight of the world because I never wanted to lose it. But in the process of letting the world decide, I lost myself. Nakalimutan kong individual pala ako. Nakalimutan kong merong ako, nakalimutan kong may opinion at pag-iisip din ako. Nakalimutan kong unahin ang sarili ko

"alis na ko" bumalik ako sa realidad nang marinig ang boses nya. Sinundan nang mata ko ang pagkuha nya nang bag nya bago ako nilingon at nginitian nang konti

Tiningnan ko lang sya hanggang sa makalabas na sya nang yumi's

Napasandal ako sa upuan at bumuntong-hininga

This time, I will choose for myself. I need to find myself. Hindi ko alam kung kailan ko sya makikita ulit. I want to thank her for making me realize my worth. But in thr meantime, It's me. Kailangan kong hanapin ang sarili ko bago ko sya hanapin ulit

I looked at the empty cup of ice cream that she left. kinuha ko ang cellphone ko at pinicturan yun. I smiled as I looked at it. Binuksan ko ang private account ko sa twitter at pinost yun

'Til we meet again, Miss Life'

"Nakita ko sya ulit moon, yung babaeng nakilala natin sa parke"

Nasa kwarto na ako habang kinakausap si Luna. I stroke her head and body as I continue to talk to her

"akalain mo yun, akala ko hinhin sya, pero may tinatago pla syang galing sa pagsasalita. Nagawa nya pa akong barahin" I laughed a little "sya palang ang babaeng nakagawa non"

"Akalain Mo Yun, Nagawa Nya Akong Barahin" I Smirked "She Was The First Person To Do That"

My dog barked kaya natawa ako

"oh, you think she's smart?" tumahol ulit si Luna making me laugh "oo na Luna, bobo nako"

She barked again ang licked my face. Mga aso nga naman, minsan mas matalino pa sila kaysa sa'tin

Napatingin ako sa collar nya 'Luna'. Ba't nga ba Luna ang pinangalan ko sa kanya kung Moon din naman ang itatawag ko? I smiled. I got the idea from my mom's parents

My mom's name was Lexi. She loves to study law her parents are lawyers. Actually they were a family of lawyers. Lex means Law, like Luna means Moon. I love the moon. And her parents love the law

Minsan natatawa nga ako kasi tinatawag nilang 'batas' si mom. What a weird nickname

What a weird name for a pet. My smile faded

Moon and mom has that similarity. Moon was my pet, and mom was the pet of her parents. I lied when I said my mom loves the law. She was only trying to live up to her parents' expectations. Just like me

Look at what othet people did to us. We lost ourselves in the process of making other people proud of us. Pero kawawa si mommy. Kasi kung may choice ako, sya wala

Like a dog in training, my mom was locked inside an invisible cage kung saan kailangan nyang magsakripisyo para makakuha nang 'treats'

How many times did I see my grandparents treat her like a dog. Magkamali lang sya nang konti sinasaktan na sya. And there I was, walang magawa kundi ang manood habang dahan dahan nilang pinapatay ang mommy ko

I felt a deep cut in my heart as I thought of that

I feel sad for my mother, but I also hate her. Hindi naman nya kami tinulad sa kanya, pero parang kinalimutan nyang nandito kami

She was different. We all are. Hindi nya sinasabi ang mga sakit nya sa amin. Lagi nyang pinaparamdam na ok lang sya. But I know she isn't

My mom, me, my younger brother and everyone else are different. Yet similar

We all want to fit the standards. Gusto nating isiksik ang sarili natin sa maling butas. Was that wrong? Absolutely. Ngayon na bikas na ang mata ko, I know that staying away from those standards is not a sin. But like I said before, we humans are stupid. And in the end, we all find ourselves living up to fit the standards...

Again

•°🌺Aesther93🌺°•