⚜Guardian⚜

Chapter Forty

Lacey,

By the time you read this, I will be dead. Please don’t come looking for my body or to avenge my killer, because either would probably be written into some horrible screenplay.

I have always loved you. From the moment I met you, when you were yanking me off of Lucifer and trying your hardest to keep the peace, I knew I had become the luckiest guy in the world. I figured you were the most perfect girl I had ever met. In fact, I thought you were an angel for the longest time. It wasn’t for a while that I realized you were just a human. An extraordinary, gorgeous, flawless human, who was so good that it changed me. You made me want to follow the rules. You made me want to be perfect, just so I could be near you. Isaiah used to make fun of me for being “Whipped”, but I didn’t care. You became the reason I got up every morning. You gave me something to live for.

When we had our first kiss by the cabin, I thought I had died and gone to someplace better than Heaven. Your lips were so soft, and you knew exactly how to push me to make me feel like we were equal. Like we were partners. You were gasping my name and I can still remember thinking that you were the most perfect being I had ever met in my entire existence. You made the life I lived the best life that anyone’s ever lived.

In the hospital, when I gave you my Archangel’s necklace, I thought that you would hate it. It was so plain, I thought. She would want something more sparkly or girly. But you took it, and you loved it, just because I gave it to you. I thought that maybe you loved me because I was angelic, and that it had a huge impact on humans. But Lucifer had the same impact, and you flat out rejected him, time and time again. You told me you loved me, the real me, and I remember thinking that I could’ve died at that moment and died a happy man.

Every memory I’ve ever had with you are without question the best moments of my existence. Lacey, I’m okay with dying, simply because I know that I got the chance to spend my life with you. Saving you was the purpose of my existence. Having done that and being able to watch you live a normal life, even without me in it, is my definition of Heaven. You are so perfect, Lacey. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.

Watching you sleep now is probably the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do. I want so badly to wake you up, to tell you what’s going to happen. But I know I can’t. You will try to come find me, will try to be there when it happens. I don’t want to put you through any more pain. Don’t mourn me. When I said you should get over me, I meant it. Find a nice guy and be with him. Have a family, have kids, live a normal life and forget about me.

Inside this envelope, I’ve given you back your guitar pic necklace.  Thank you for letting me have it. Did you know I used to clean it every night? I figured that I had to keep it perfect, because you were perfect. I used to have Isaiah check me every day before I left to see you, to double check that I looked perfect. I didn’t want to be flawed around you. Of course, that didn’t stop you from finding out everything about me. Good or bad, you knew it all.

Now I have to go. The sun is coming up, and that means I’m leaving. Hopefully I’m going somewhere better, where I can watch over you and be a true guardian angel. I love you forever and always. You are the girl who changed me. The girl who showed me love does exist. God, I love you Lacey. Please burn this letter so that you won’t hold onto any mourning feelings. You shouldn’t have to feel pain. I wish that I could take away all your pain. I wish that you could live a life untouched by anything that hurts.

I love you, gorgeous girl. Thank you for everything.

Asher