Harry Styles Imagines

i want to be good enough

Description - you're in subspace and there's miscommunication

tw - blood, burns, angst

- — -

Harry was a whore for baking cakes.

Any kind of cake, it didn't matter, but he loved making them. His favourite was a Guinness cake - which you had to admit was very amazing. Your favourite he has ever made was a blueberry and dark chocolate traybake. Harry knew how to cook. What was even better than baking them was him getting to eat them afterwards. He always said there's nothing more homely than eating a fresh cake straight from the oven.

Hence why you were currently baking a cake.

Harry has been out all day with friends, catching up with people before he goes to America for recording sessions. You can't remember who he said he was going to meet but as long as he was happy, so were you. So, when he comes back you wanted to have a delicious dinner and cake ready for him. This is why you'd learnt how to make spaghetti bolognese, vegetarian style, and managed to bake him an orange and chocolate cake - like a Jaffa cake - from scratch. You were impressed at your self culinary skills.

It's rare that you even get to be in the kitchen. You have this clumsy nature, which can be shown off by the various accidental cuts you've given yourself today, to which Harry bans you from using knives and graters because of. It also wasn't made better that you were feeling heavily floaty today.

Subspace was quite an irregular occurrence for you. It would creep up on the least expecting days, like today. It sometimes occurred when Harry had been extra rough in bed, but he was always there to coax you out of it and calm you down. Once, it has happened because you had been extra horny and Harry was denying relieving you of anything. Today, though, could be a mix of things. Harry not being here did make you feel abandoned and also the fact he's leaving for America soon didn't help.

You felt as though the walls were ever so slowly closing in on you, isolating you until you were the last thing in the smallest of rooms. You hated the feeling, and often would say really stupid things when you were in subspace making you feel silly. Harry always took care of you though - no matter what.

Today's episode was quite bad too.

All you wanted was Harry. To cuddle. To spoon. To love. You just wanted him close enough to know that he wasn't leaving you and you weren't alone. Having him go out with friends, without you, made you very doubtful over whether he was coming back or whether you'd made him upset. You wanted him to be happy, but you were starting to question whether that might be without you.

"Are you supposed to look like that?" You asked the cake through the oven doors, thinking that it was going to speak back to you to help you out.

You'd followed the recipe exactly, finding instructions really easy to follow when you were in subspace. Listening to or reading orders was your specialty whilst you were under. It made Harry's job a hell of a lot easier too.

"Hello?" You knocked on the oven door, still expecting an answer from the bloody cake. No answer and now you were in a strop. You didn't understand why the cake was deflating rather than inflating. You just wanted to bake something perfect for Harry so he would be happy and pleased with you. Having Harry praise you was your most favourite thing, so you thought by making him a cake he would lather you in compliments. Now, you're starting to panic he'll leave you because you can't do the one thing he loves the most.

As you stand back to your feet, after sitting watching your pathetic cake not rise, you started to clean up the mess in the kitchen. There was flour on cupboard doors and egg shells in the sink, but how they'd got there you couldn't remember.