Harry Styles Imagines

lights up

Description - you're one of the extras in the lights up music video but you feel self conscious around all the other people.

The concept that one day you'd be in a Harry Styles music video would've sounded absurd four days ago, but nevertheless, here you were, in Mexico, ready to be an extra in Harry's new music video.

To say you were nervous was an understatement. This was going to be the most nerve wracking thing that you'd ever do in your life. You'd been approached to take part because you were an old and trusted friend of Glenne - Harry's managers wife. Glenne sweet talked you in to making you believe that you'd be perfect for the role and wouldn't have anything to worry about. Except those were all lies when you turned up on set. You weren't half as perfect as some of the other extras on set and it made you feel very small in yourself.

Glenne had had to do a lot of convincing in order for you to accept her offer.

The thought of dancing in between a lot of other strangers, one of which was Harry Styles, was terrifying. You hadn't got bundles of self confidence and this would force you out of your comfort zone completely. You ticked all of the criteria though; dancer, over 18 and bisexual. The last specification was the one to keep ahold of your interest.

You'd never felt like you could solidly choose between whether you were in to women or men, it was never black and white for you, but more every colour of the rainbow, and it took you a while to feel comfortable in accepting that you didn't have to choose. You could like both.

Once you'd accepted to yourself who you were, you'd never been happier.

You'd spoken to Glenne for a long time about bisexuality and the confusion you were having with identifying yourself to it, and that was when she had directed you to her close friend Layla. Layla had proudly been bisexual for a couple of years and after speaking to her she helped you understand the different between who you were, and who you wanted to be. So technically, Layla was the first person you came out as bisexual to - even though you'd never met her in person. She was the sweetest and it made your feelings towards her shift.

After a few weeks of speaking to one another you finally met and she was even more beautiful in person than she was online - if that was even possible. Her naturally, curly, brown hair and green eyes were so perfect you found it hard to admit she was real. Layla was a lot more confident than you were, but you were okay with that. You were still learning to grow as a person, and you knew that'd take time.

A few months went by and Layla had finally asked you to be her girlfriend, after many dates. She was your first real relationship, but not yet your first real love. Layla was kind and gentle with you, but she never pushed you to be anything better than you already were. She would never challenge you to new opportunities and it made you feel slightly worthless - like she didn't believe in you. You stuck with her though, through and through, until it all became too much. You had doubts about your sexuality one night, confused again - which you knew was perfectly okay - but Layla wasn't pleased about it. Instead of comforting you and working it out together, she got up and left - leaving you more confused than ever.

It took a few months of self isolating and self protection for you to feel worthy and comfortable in your own skin, again. Layla had abused the one thing she knew to be the most fragile thing to you, and it left burning emotional scars.

You wanted to be that happy Y/N again, which is why you accepted to do this shoot.

The weather today was extremely hot, but what else did you expect from Mexico. It wasn't the lush, sunny and relaxing heat though, it was that horrible, thick and humid heat. The kind that made you sweat to the bone. Appearing on set, though, you definitely were the worst sweater - everyone else looking quite relaxed and cool - which wasn't award you were desperate on winning.